Thursday, March 19, 2015

I don't know who I am now

All my life, I always knew who I was. No matter the age, 30, 40, I was me. But now I don't know who I am. Now I'm a person who can't run. I ran my whole life. I was never a good runner....I struggled thru almost every run. But I ran. Now I live with pain every day. And when I searched my mind, I couldn't find me. I was gone. I'm someone else now. And I don't know who that is. I don't know if its the pain, the inability to run, the inability to exercise....I don't know. But I no longer know who I am. The me I am now, I seem to just live from day to day, hoping that the day I'm in isn't filled with pain. The nights are sometimes filled with dreams where I can still run, but sometimes in those dreams I'm crippled when I try to run. My life hasn't turned out how I'd hoped. LOL whose life does I guess.. Everything that made me ME has been taken from me. Everything. And I don't know who I am any more.