Sunday, July 26, 2015
Tuesday, June 09, 2015
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Hearing news of his new home purchase in Key Largo, I was filled with anger. Anger for many reasons. It appeared to me that he had taken over my most secret and not so secret desires. To have a home in the Keys..to not have to work..to be...... Anyway, I have prayed hard....HARD....and suddenly came to the realization that he can't help who he is. No more than I can help who I am. I can't hold his personality against him any more than I would him to hold mine against me. I cannot tell you how much that eased my anger..and allowed me to let go.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
All my life, I always knew who I was. No matter the age, 30, 40, I was me. But now I don't know who I am. Now I'm a person who can't run. I ran my whole life. I was never a good runner....I struggled thru almost every run. But I ran. Now I live with pain every day. And when I searched my mind, I couldn't find me. I was gone. I'm someone else now. And I don't know who that is. I don't know if its the pain, the inability to run, the inability to exercise....I don't know. But I no longer know who I am. The me I am now, I seem to just live from day to day, hoping that the day I'm in isn't filled with pain. The nights are sometimes filled with dreams where I can still run, but sometimes in those dreams I'm crippled when I try to run. My life hasn't turned out how I'd hoped. LOL whose life does I guess.. Everything that made me ME has been taken from me. Everything. And I don't know who I am any more.