Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Worried about Mom

Shes suddenly forgetting things. Important things.
I called L my sister and let her know, but I will not pursue any medical follow up for this.
She is 86, and I will not subject her to tests or the like.
So long as she is functioning and pain free...I'll let it be.
Shes safe in her apartment, no car to be in danger with, and thats all that matters.
I took her food shopping today, got her plenty of food so thats all good.
But I worry.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Whats sad and whats not

Whats sad...if only Ex had tried.
Just tried a bit.
I would have stayed with him...allowed him to stay..and tried to work it out.
But IMHO he had way too much pride to do so.
He was NEVER wrong, never at fault, and with all that my what a burden of being so perfectly right and always right.
It was his loss IMHO...because I was always willing to take the take the blame..
It would have been such a small concession on his part to occassionally say...I'm sorry..
OMG..those words were an anathema to him..
He could never be wrong, ergo he could never be sorry.
DH is the total opposite.
He doesn't hold me entirely to blame for lifes foibles.
He adores and loves me despite lifes pains, and thanks me for being his better half.
He wants to marry me.
And I will marry him.
I said
We'll keep it under the cover for the both of us to know,,and no one else.
Because we want to belong to each other..No more and no less.
Is there any sweeter reason to marry?
Ex had me in his palm...and he abused me to no end...punished me for not being his perfect slave.
And I tried, God above knows I tried...
But I was NEVER good enough...
Now I am...
Perfect as I more or less....
And thats how it should be.
I imagine Ex thought that quite soon after I tossed his sorry ass out, that I would be begging him to come back.
Let me say that the first few weeks after he was gone were the most restful and peaceful that I'd experienced in years.
And I've never looked back.
Thats a sad statement after many years of marriage.
But there it stands

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Goodnight, My heart

The peace I made with him was personal...and due to factors disclosed to me...and are entirely personal...

Thursday, February 12, 2009

From "Dishrag"

Nadya Suleman's website takes PayPal donations! Duh.

Feel sorry for Nadya Suleman, the new mother of eight premature babies?

The Nadya Suleman who has given birth to 14 kids through in vitro treatments, who receives food stamps and whose three older children get disability payments?

The Nadya Suleman who wanted to sell her story for $2 million and who sought a TV gig as a mothering expert? Who also has $50,000 in student loans?

The woman who appears to have had expensive plastic surgery on her nose and lips to look more like Angelina Jolie?

That Nadya Suleman?

Since that TV deal hasn't happened, she’s now launched a website where you can leave messages and even donate money and items for her babies.

The website has a a baby theme, with rainbows, hearts and spelling blocks, and it displays photos of all the babies, who range in weight from 1 to 2 pounds. There's also one shot of of Suleman (from her NBC appearance) with the caption: "Proud Mother of 14."

Naturally, the homepage has links to a message board and (ta-da!) a payment page.

And yes, she takes PayPal. Like you had to ask.

The woman has no shame....

My comments
I couldn't agree more with the above. She paid for the treatments with money she got from disability payments, if she was disabled, how was she physically able to have those children????
Food stamps, yet she doesn't agree they are public assistance?
Three of her kids on social security disability, special needs children who will likely get completely lost in the shuffle compared to eight newborns entering their lives.
This woman is a sicko, a self centered idiot.
And her Dr should have his license taken away.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The right thing to do

The incomparable Carly Simon...
The Right thing to do..

There's nothin' you can do to turn me away
Nothin' anyone can say
You're with me now and as long as you stay
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Lovin' you's the right thing

I know you've had some bad luck with ladies before
They drove you or you drove them crazy
But more important is I know
you're the one and I'm sure
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Lovin' you's the right thing

And it used to be for a while
That the river flowed right to my door
Making me just a little too free
But now the river doesn't seem to stop here anymore

Hold me in your hands like a bunch of flowers
Set me movin' to your sweetest song
And I know what I think I've known all along
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Lovin' you's the right thing
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Is the right thing

Nothing you could ever do would
turn me away from you
I love you now and I love you now
Even though you're ten thousand miles away
I'll love you tomorrow as I love you today
I'm in love babe
I'm in love with you babe.

Mrs Pig Dog

And she should rot in hell along with her fucking Pig Dog of a husband.
The bulk of their victims were charities..
Hell is too good for this family, and apparently the whole clan was in on the scheme of enough is never enough.
Here I am, a hard working woman. I actually do something worthwhile...I SAVE LIVES...and I can barely survive.
These people have no soul, no conscience...and let God have mercy on them, I have none...and forgive me Lord...I have NONE..

(AP) The wife of disgraced money manager Bernard Madoff withdrew more than $15 million from a firm co-owned by her husband -- including $10 million on the day before his arrest on charges he ran a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, the top securities regulator in Massachusetts said Wednesday.

Secretary of State William Galvin said Ruth Madoff, 67, withdrew $5.5 million on Nov. 25 and $10 million on Dec. 10 from Cohmad Securities Corp., a New York firm co-owned by her husband.

Court Documents On Madoff Withdrawal

The Entire Mass. Case

The secretary cited wire transfer records produced by Cohmad as proof of the withdrawals. It was unclear whether they were made with knowledge of the scheme's impending collapse.

"We're not accusing her of anything wrong," Galvin spokesman Brian McNiff said. "It's just one of the things that came out in the response, such as it was, from Cohmad" to a subpoena from Massachusetts officials. "Now, what someone in New York or the feds may think of it, may be entirely different."

A telephone number listed to Ruth Madoff in Palm Beach, Fla., rang busy and a number in New York had been disconnected. Messages left for the Madoffs' attorney were not immediately returned. A Cohmad spokeswoman in New York said the company had no comment.

In New York, meanwhile, the government and lawyers for Madoff agreed to a 30-day delay in the Wednesday deadline for obtaining a grand jury indictment against the money manager.

The new deadline is March 13.

As he had during a similar extension a month ago, Assistant U.S. Attorney Marc Litt wrote that the government requested the extension "for the purpose of allowing time to conduct additional discussions regarding a possible disposition of this case."

It has been widely anticipated the case will be resolved before trial through an agreement between the government and Madoff's lawyers.

Since Madoff's arrest Dec. 11, investigators have been assessing the financial damage inflicted on thousands of people who lost money investing with him.

The victims identified so far have included ordinary people and Hollywood celebrities, along with large hedge funds, international banks and charities in the U.S., Europe and Asia.

Madoff was arrested after investigators said he confessed to his sons that he had swindled investors of a mammoth Ponzi scheme in which early investors are paid with money raised from new investors. The scheme collapses when there is no money to repay the last investors.

Madoff, a 70-year-old former Nasdaq stock market chairman, remains confined to his Manhattan penthouse under house arrest.

Galvin made his disclosure in a complaint asking Massachusetts state regulators to stop Cohmad - a brokerage firm apparently named by merging the last names of co-founders Maurice Cohn and Madoff - from doing business in Massachusetts because it failed to provide information to Galvin about its relationship with Madoff.

Galvin said Cohmad officials have ignored subpoenas or given incomplete responses as part of the state's probe of how Massachusetts investors lost money in the Madoff scheme.

An associate of Madoff, Robert Jaffe, appeared last week before officers of the Massachusetts Security Division, but the complaint says he repeatedly invoked his Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination. Galvin has described Jaffe as a registered agent and principal of Cohmad, which is in the same New York City building as Madoff's firm.

Jaffe's lawyers have said he had no knowledge of Madoff's actions and was himself a victim who lost millions of dollars.

Galvin said the discovery of Ruth Madoff's withdrawals raises questions about whether there was a broader conspiracy behind Bernard Madoff's actions. Madoff has projected himself as someone who acted alone.

"As you know, the tale is being told that it was just Mr. Madoff who apparently worked 24 hours a day, shooting out false invoices and statements to people," Galvin told The Associated Press in an interview.

"It would seem as if some of the facts that we've discovered would raise, at least, some questions on that. I certainly am not questioning the thoroughness of my colleagues in other jurisdictions, but I think our findings, which we're sharing with them, would hopefully spur them on to be very thorough in looking over all the parties involved here and not to accept facile explanations about how this happened," Galvin added.

He also cited a $526,000 Cohmad payment to a woman he said was associated with Madoff - but not licensed in Massachusetts or ever a Cohmad employee - as more potential evidence of a conspiracy.

"It suggests to us that this is one big entity," Galvin said.

Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.

And we danced

No reason whatsoever...I just adore this song...
Its upbeat and fun....and I love the idea of just dancing and dancing....

The Hooters ...And we danced
She was a be-bop baby on a hard day's night
She was hangin' on Johnny, he was holdin' on tight
I could feel her coming from a mile away
There was no use talking, there was nothing to say
When the band began to play and play

And we danced like a wave on the ocean, romanced
We were liars in love and we danced
Swept away for a moment by chance
And we danced and danced and danced

I met my be-bop baby at the Union Hall
She could dance all night and shake the pain of the walls
But when I saw her smile across a crowded room
Well I knew we'd have to leave the party soon
As the band began to play out of tune

And we danced like a wave on the ocean, romanced
We were liars in love and we danced
Swept away for a moment by chance
And we danced and danced and danced

The endless beat, she's walkin' my way
Hear the music fade when she says
Are whe getting too close, do we dare to get closer
The room was spinning as she whispers my name
And we danced

And we danced like a wave on the ocean, romanced
We were liars in love and we danced
Swept away for a moment by chance
And we danced and danced and danced

And we danced like a wave on the ocean, romanced
We were liars in love and we danced
Swept away for a moment by chance
And we danced and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced

Taking life by the horns....just going for it...I love this song...!!!!

The Munchkin

He didn't glance at me with disdain
He didn't look away from my body, or face
I felt the warmth, the passion, the fire
I felt it all in his tight embrace
Never thought to feel this love
So right, so strong and full of grace
Like coming home to a mansion
But not of riches, not of gold, only faith
Faith in each other, like an untold story
Of a princess awaiting her true love, her kiss
And oh I'm so glad I was able
To feel each tender touch, each tender bliss
Of every hug, every touch, every caress
Every moment when he told me I was loved
And know that for once, good god for once
I was home, and I thanked the Lord up above

At the end of my rope, figuratively

Got a letter from my credit card company, the card linked to my checking.
They will no longer provide in essence I think I am now officially screwed.
I don't know if my income will allow me to pay my bills without the overdraft, sad but fucking true..
I just went to my bill pay, changed my credit payments to minimum. I've been struggling to pay extra, a few dollars every month, but for now I guess I can't.
Essentially it means, that I will have to use credit cards for any purchases including food.
No more cash available...NONE...
I've applied for other jobs, to get a second job, but no luck. The one job interview I went on was bogus, a teaser to simply get someone in for an interview, and I think when she saw my full resume, and me, she realized I was not going to settle for crappy pay and a night shift to boot ( something never mentioned prior to me going for the interview)
I'm praying, and praying....
And I don't know what I'm going to do.
Lose my house? Maybe it'll come to that, I don't know.
Now I just pray I don't lose my job, and live day to day, second to second with this hanging over my head.
Just had to vent blog faithful, just had to vent.

Monday, February 09, 2009


Thats the title I gave the pic of Bernie Madoff when I uploaded it.
This man is evil...pure evil thru and thru...
God forgive me, I hope he suffers for this.

(Feb. 9) - The Securities and Exchange Commission on Monday announced an agreement with disgraced money manager Bernard Madoff that could eventually force him to pay a civil fine and return money raised from investors.

Bernard Madoff's agreement with securities regulators -- pending a judge's approval -- would result in a civil fine and would force Madoff to return money raised from investors.
The partial judgment, which renders permanent a preliminary injunction that froze Madoff's assets after his arrest in December, must be approved by the judge overseeing the case in federal court in Manhattan.
The civil proceeding is separate from the criminal case against the prominent Wall Street figure, who is accused of bilking $50 billion from investors in what may be the largest Ponzi scheme in history. Madoff was arrested on Dec. 11 after allegedly confessing to his sons that he had stolen from investors for years.
Federal prosecutors have asked a judge to revoke the bail of Madoff, who has been confined to his Manhattan penthouse under house arrest. Madoff, who has not been indicted, is widely expected to eventually enter into a criminal deal with prosecutors in which he would plead guilty in exchange for some form of leniency.
The SEC said Madoff agreed to the partial judgment without admitting or denying the allegations in its civil complaint filed on Dec. 11. However, the agreement says Madoff cannot contest the "facts" of the complaint for the purposes of determining his obligation to pay civil fines and restitution - which will be specified later.
The SEC says the basic facts of the complaint are that Madoff committed a $50 billion fraud and told his sons his investment business was a sham. Madoff told them he had "absolutely nothing," that "it's all just one big lie," and was "basically, a giant Ponzi scheme," according to the complaint.
Madoff's defense attorney, Ira Sorkin, didn't immediately return a telephone call seeking comment Monday.

Jennifer Hudson

I haven't watched the Grammys in years, but I caught this video just now, and it truly is an inspired performance. Poor girl, losing her family recently to violence, and soldiering on.
Worth a watch, pull out the

Thursday, February 05, 2009

The best feeling.....

Climbing into bed..and into his arms..
Him on his on my side snuggled against his side.
Waking in the morning, with him saying..
Good morning baby...and handing me a cup of coffee.
Having him open the car door for me...
Having him come up behind me and put his arms around me.
Kissing my neck and holding me tight...
The best feeling...
Watching tv...a movie...and laughing and talking...
Having him snuggled behind me on the couch under a throw
Arms around me..kissing my hair..
Sitting beside him while he wins at the slots...
Telling me I'm his luck..and knowing somehow its true.
The best feeling...
Being loved, and knowing it
Utterly and completely....without any doubt in my mind.
The best feeling...
Knowing without hesitation that being with him
Was coming home at last
To a home I'd longed for all of my life
And finally reaching it, after so many lonely years.
That is the best feeling.

This makes me sick...just sick

And for these jackasses to spend this kind of money on a DOG...when there are so many who are losing their homes, their jobs, everything they have...
This is an example of people who don't know the value of money, or human life, or proportion. And to make amends, they will adopt from a shelter? How GENEROUS of them. If they invested that sum of money to help a shelter out, imagine how many animals could be saved, and kept alive to be adopted by people who truly realize the beauty of a pet is individual and non reproducible.
Its evil and unnatural. Not the cloning per se...but the amount of money simply wasted to get this clone. Because we all know, that even as a perfect genetic clone, this is NOT the Lancelot they had originally. And if these pretentious idiots can't figure it out, they are the poorer in spirit for that stupidity.
And I speak out as someone who supports adoption, has adopted from a shelter over ten times in my life, and currently has 2 Greyhounds I adopted as track rescues, and three kittens, now cats, adopted prior to them being taken to the shelter. I would have taken all five if I could have, but that was just too much for me, I could barely afford the ones I took. I scrimped and saved, got them neutered/spayed too.
And as usual...all just IMHO of course.

Couple Pay $155,000 for First Commercially Cloned Dog

By Charlotte CardinghamPublished on 28 Jan 2009 RSS Feed
Labrador puppy Lancelot Encore is an exact genetic replica of his owner's previous pet.

A couple from Boca Raton, Florida, have this week welcomed the first commercially cloned dog into their home – at the eye-watering cost of $155,000.

Lancelot Encore, or ‘Lancey’ as he, and his predecessor are fondly known, is a 10 week old yellow Labrador puppy and an exact genetic replica of Nina and Edgar Otto’s old dog, ‘Sir Lancelot’.

The couple won the chance to clone their family dog at auction in July last year, seven months after losing ‘Lancey’ mark one to cancer. Amazingly the couple had the foresight to store samples of Sir Lancelot’s DNA five years ago in the hope that cloning technology would one day be readily available to those willing to pay.

"We can't believe this day is finally here," said Mrs Otto to the press, "We are so happy to have little Lancey in our family. His predecessor was a very special dog. We are thrilled beyond words!"

After being ‘created’ in South Korea by biotech company BioArts International and weaned by a surrogate mother, Lancelot Encore was delivered personally to the Ottos at Miami International Airport by BioArts Chairman, Lou Hawthorne, on Monday evening.

"This is a very special milestone for our company – and great fun for me too," Hawthorne said.

”One minute with Lancey and you know he's special. He's both extremely aware and very sweet. The Ottos are the first of six current clients to receive their clone. The next 6 months will be very exciting both for our clients and our staff."

Lancelot Encore is believed to be the first single-born, commercially cloned puppy in the States. Yet, while the Ottos are undoubtedly delighted with their new pup, his creation has sparked huge controversy, not least because of all the puppies sitting unwanted in dog shelters across the States.

However, so as to make amends, Nina and Edgar, who reportedly already have 9 dogs, 10 cats, 6 sheep and 4 parrots, also plan to adopt a dog from a shelter too.

This is the Tropics????

Being from New York, and recently having been in Utah, this feels chilly, but I ain't gonna
For most South Floridians tho, this is pure
All I needed this morning was the same thing I wore in Utah, a jacket and gloves were added for driving. I have a touch of Reynauds Syndrome, and if I touch a cold object, like a steering wheel in freezing weather, it causes pain in my fingers.
So with gloves on ( the second pair from the set I bought on clearance for a dollar prior to my Utah ) I was good to go.
Lil one now, she is NOT use to this. Altho she grew up in Ny, and went to school in colder weather than this, its a distant memory for her. She's lived here since she was in Fourth grade, so she is a Floridian now.
And these Florida kids???? Weird...they wear jeans and hoodies even if its 90 degrees...and wool caps too...
Go figure.

From this mornings Sun Sentinel

Bone-chilling temps feel like they're in the 20s

> Posted by Ken Kaye at 5:49 AM

For normally steamy South Florida, this isn’t just a cold snap.

It’s Vostok.

That would be Vostok, Antarctica, the coldest place on Earth, where temperatures of almost 130 degrees below zero have been recorded.

OK, maybe it's not quite that cold out there. But it's bone-chilling, nonetheless.

As of 5 a.m., no cold records had been broken, the National Weather Service in Miami reported. But most of the region still was shivering under temperatures in the mid to upper 30s.

Some readings:

Coral Springs: 33
West Palm Beach: 34
Hollywood: 37
Fort Lauderdale: 39
Miami: 39

Temperatures will continue to drop until about 8 a.m., so it's still possible some records will be broken today. The wind chill, meanwhile, was in the upper 20s, as the winds were blowing pretty hard.

Today's forecast calls for a sunny, breezy and brisk day with afternoon highs in the upper 50s and low 60s. It should be another cold evening, with temps in the low to mid 40s, but at least the winds should die down a bit.

Conditions should gradually warm through the weekend, with high temperatures in the upper 60s on Friday, in the low 70s on Saturday and in the mid 70s on Sunday.

I can personally vouch that it felt absolutely freezing out there this morn. While scrambling the few feet from my car to the front door of my office, I’m pretty sure I developed frost bite.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


Decided I wanted to switch to an opening older song that I still love.
Upbeat vs
I may be a lovesick fool but not all of my blog faithful are I'm sure.
Fall Out Boy
I still luvs