Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Scrubbing the kitchen and my soul

Removed the marks from the stove top placed there by Lil one when her mashy taters overflowed, emptied and filled dishwasher, sorted thru the pile of mail, took garbage out..fed the dogs..
Oh and lovely, a leak in the six gallon fish tank with Oscar the Beta and his catfish buds...
Now I need a new fish tank, or kill my little cold blooded friends.
Freaking wonderful..
Good thing they don't cost much, since I won't get a dime if I try to go out and peddle my ass.
Sweating again, and trying to occupy my mind..
Listening to the music on my blog is prolly not a good idea huh?

Weeding the yard and my brain

Trying to pull out all the bad...left bare ground in many places..
At least when I do yard work, I can just listen to my music and block everything out but the effort, the sweat and the sense of accomplishment..
Backyard tomorrow..
I'll need mulch after, and a few plants for the circle under the live was coleus, but its all dead now..
New life, at least in the yard.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

And I think MY life sucks?????

DNA Frees Man After 27 Years in Prison
Posted: 2008-04-29 16:48:49
Filed Under: Law News, Nation News
DALLAS (April 29) - A Dallas man who spent more than 27 years in prison for a murder he didn't commit was freed Tuesday, after being incarcerated longer than any other wrongfully convicted U.S. inmate cleared by DNA testing.

James Lee Woodard stepped out of the courtroom and raised his arms to a throng of photographers. Supporters and other people gathered outside the court erupted in applause.

"No words can express what a tragic story yours is," state District Judge Mark Stoltz told Woodard at a brief hearing before his release.

Woodard, cleared of the 1980 murder of his girlfriend, became the 18th person in Dallas County to have his conviction cast aside. That's a figure unmatched by any county nationally, according to the Innocence Project, a New York-based legal center that specializes in overturning wrongful convictions.

"I thank God for the existence of the Innocence project," Woodard, 55, told the court. "Without that, I wouldn't be here today. I would be wasting away in prison."

Overall, 31 people have been formally exonerated through DNA testing in Texas, also a national high. That does not include Woodard and at least three others whose exonerations will not become official until Gov. Rick Perry grants pardons or the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals formally accepts the ruling of lower courts that have already recommended exoneration.

Woodard was sentenced to life in prison in July 1981 for the murder of a 21-year-old Dallas woman found sexually assaulted and strangled near the banks of the Trinity River.

He was convicted primarily on the basis of testimony from two eyewitnesses, said Natalie Roetzel, the executive director of the Innocence Project of Texas. One has since recanted in an affidavit. As for the other, "we don't believe her testimony was accurate," Roetzel said.

Like nearly all the exonorees, Woodard has maintained his innocence throughout his time in prison. But after filing six writs with an appeals court, plus two requests for DNA testing, his pleas of innocence became so repetitive and routine that "the courthouse doors were eventually closed to him and he was labeled a writ abuser," Roetzel said.

"On the first day he was arrested, he told the world he was innocent ... and nobody listened," Jeff Blackburn, chief counsel for the Innocence Project of Texas, said during Tuesday's hearing.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2008-04-29 14:06:20

Monday, April 28, 2008

Still on break

Hope my faithful readers don't lose interest...but I just don't have my mind in the place to blog right now.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Taking a break

To clear my mind..
Hopefully it won't take too long..

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Brain stew

"Brain Stew" by Greenday
Yeah, wine will do that to you..

I'm having trouble trying to sleep
I'm counting sheep but running out
As time ticks by
And still I try
No rest for crosstops in my mind

On my own... here we go

My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry
My face is numb
fucked up and spun out in my room

On my own... here we go

My mind is set on overdrive
The clock is laughing in my face
A crooked spine
My sense's dulled
Passed the point of delerium

On my own... here we go

My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry
My face is numb
fucked up and spun out in my room

On my own... here we go

Basket Case

Heard this song on the radio this morning while driving back from dropping kids at school..
I thought, THAT belongs on me blog...thats me..LOL


"Basket Case"

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
All at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or I'm just stoned

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex
That's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
It's bringing her down

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Uh, yuh, yuh, ya

Grasping to control
So I better hold on

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or I'm just stoned

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Just finished two days of work

Twelves are good and bad...
I am going to settle in with a glass of wine and the new episode of "The Deadliest Catch"
Damn wine...
I've lost my momentum folks...and still trying to find it.
Don't worry, I did it once, I'll do it again.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Feel better today

No panic feelings..

Sunday, April 20, 2008

May need a paxil adjustment

Because right now, and for several hrs I've felt on the verge of a panic attack.
That hasn't happened in ages.
As a matter of fact, the one other time when I really felt close, was when I was driving to my first divorce mediation.
I hope it passes soon...I feel shaky and chest hurts a bit..
Don't want to tell Lil one, she may worry...
Damn I hate this feeling.
But its likely a need for a paxil dose I'll see how I feel tomorrow before I decide to visit the Dr.

Still drinking

Not every night, and not always to excess...but last night I did.
Lil one went out, I was alone and the thoughts wouldn't go away....
And as usual my defenses went down and I acted like a fool.
Contacting your pain source is NOT the right thing to do...
I am going to try, I don't know how, but I am going to try to stop again.
It was a form of self defense, a coping mechanism I learned during my marriage, and it has reared its ugly head once again.
He drank, and eventually I did too.
And I was doing so GOOD....
And Lil one? She hasn't criticized me, because I know she feels badly for me.
Shes a good kid..

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Not in the right frame of mind

For the party at BFF's tonite.
I told her its better if I don't go.
I'm just not in the right place to be at a party, and if I'm like that, she likely would spend more time worrying about that issue, than the rest of her guests having fun.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Can't wait till this rock is no more...

And reincarnation be damned, I REFUSE to come back.
I can't go thru this again...I won't.
Whatever bad karma I made to deserve this life, I've surely paid back tenfold.
Please take the time to read the whole article.
Its intelligent, to the point and includes references.
And I have no problem in thinking that its an undeniable statistical probability that events will indeed unfold along these lines.

Magnetic Pole Shift

New Page -- 11 September 2005

An essential element in the physical makeup of the planet Earth is the existence of a planetary sized geomagnetic field, which for various and sundry reasons appears to periodically change its orientation in terms of the respective positions of it north and south magnetic poles.
Somewhat more dramatically – with Mother Earth (Gaia) often preferring the dramatic – when the north and south magnetic poles reverse their positions, they do so rather abruptly in what is known as a Magnetic Pole Shift. (Relatively minor variations in the pole locations are also magnetic pole shifts, but use lower case letters and result in relatively minor effects; relatively minor.) In the MPS scenario, however, north becomes south, south becomes north, and the comparatively abrupt process of shifting poles and the results occasioned thereby carry with them all manner of unique possibilities.

The Big MPS is not a frequent event – the last occasion apparently occurring some 730,000 years ago. It is accordingly, not one of those events with which the average magnet manufacturer is going to concern himself. But rumors of late have begun circulating that the magnetic poles are about to do a reversal. According to NASCA, “Scientists believe the Earth's magnetic poles are about to reverse themselves – an event that would undoubtedly plunge the world into turmoil, some say complete catastrophe.” The Observer Guardian headlines one article with “Sun's rays to roast Earth as poles flip.” Such pronouncements are at least likely to tweak your attention.

If such is the case, then the reader may wish to consider two aspects of this subject. The first is the physical reality of geomagnetic pole reversals; their history and mechanism. The second is the effects, i.e. what happens when the magnetic world is turned upside down. We'll take first things first.

First Things First

The Earth's geomagnetic field is well known to anyone who's ever used a compass. Such usage is typically on the surface of the earth, but it must be noted that the geomagnetic field permeates the planet itself and extends outward into space. At the surface of the Earth the field is evidenced by the behavior of magnetite material, such as bar magnets, which when suspended and free to rotate, align themselves with the geomagnetic field. By theory and limited observation the magnetic field is believed to extend deep into the Earth, through the Earth's mantle and into its outer core of what is believed to be molten iron. The field also extends into space where it surrounds the Earth in what is termed a magnetosphere (of which the Van Allen Belts are a part).

According to paleomagnetists, the Earth periodically -- every few hundred thousand years -- flips its magnetic field (i.e. the north and south magnetic poles are reversed). Evidence for this peculiar habit is provided by measurements of the orientation of magnetic materials in sedimentary and volcanic rocks, and the fact that such orientations have been grouped into distinct periods over the last 178 million years. Based on this evidence, the most recent magnetic pole reversal appears to have occurred some 730,000 years ago, leaving the north and south magnetic poles at 75 degrees North, 102 degrees West, and 67 degrees South and 140 degrees East, respectively. Work by Allan Cox [1] has shown extreme variability in when and where such an event occurs – ranging from a 35 million year hiatus in the Cretaceous Period, to more recent variations of several hundred thousand years between events. Of course, this means that based on the relatively recent past, we're way overdue!

Geomagnetic Variations

For the last hundred years geophysicists have observed a steady and significant weakening in the strength of the Earth's magnetic field. The weakening rate suggests that the magnetic field may vanish altogether within the next 1,500 years [1]. This weakening is about one percent per decade, and has deteriorated over the last two thousand years by about fifty percent. The magnetic field pattern also rotates in some areas by about one degree every ten years [2]. Much more noteworthy, however, are major shifts in the locations of the magnetic poles, in the form of complete reversals and in the form of “excursions”.

Excursions refer to those cases in the sedimentary and volcanic records where the geodynamo apparently failed to complete a geomagnetic field reversal and ended up backtracking. These large leaps in the field direction may have been produced by abnormal secular variations or may be “manifestations of unsuccessful, or aborted, reversal attempts” [1]. For our purposes, the explanation of the causes of an “excursion” or a complete reversal of the magnetic poles is essentially the same, differing only in the intensity of the causal factor -- the lesser intensity events occurring when the geomagnetic field does not quite complete a reversal.

Evidence of reversals in the geomagnetic field indicates 200 reversals over the last 178 million years. This includes a 35-million year hiatus during the Cretaceous period, and 33 reversals in the last 25 million years. Over the last 70 million years, “polarity reversals have been taking place at an increasing rate” [1]. In fact, there have been 9 major reversals in the past 3.6 million years (i.e. on average one every 400,000 years), with the most recent one, 730,000 years ago. Even more noteworthy is evidence of a looping excursion by the geomagnetic field some 28,000 years ago.

The evidence of major variations in the geomagnetic field derives from sedimentary and volcanic lava records. These records provide the timing and location of the magnetic pole from the angle of dip and the horizontal orientation of magnetite material in the sediments and lava flows. Unfortunately, sedimentary records are limited in that they tell us more about the pre- and post-geomagnetic records than about the actual reversal process itself. Lava records, on the other hand, being laid down in a matter of days (instead of thousands of years in the case of sediments) provide much more detail in the description of events in a geomagnetic pole reversal.

It has been assumed by paleomagnetists that geomagnetic pole reversals do not occur instantaneously from one polarity state to the other, but occur over a period that typically spans a few thousand years [1]. However, evidence from lava flows indicate rapid shifts, perhaps taking only a few years [1], OR “fast enough that it would virtually be possible to watch a compass needle move” [3]. Data from the Steens Mountain lava beds in southeastern Oregon , for example, indicate that the geomagnetic poles were moving between 3 degrees and 8 degrees per day! [3, 4, 5, 6].

The paleontological records provide not only evidence of geomagnetic field reversals/excursions and a description of the reversal itself, but also yield clues as to the origins of the geomagnetic field and, albeit indirectly, the possible causes of the geomagnetic field reversals.

Origins and Reversals of the Geomagnetic Field

It has been generally accepted that the geomagnetic field is generated by the motion of free electrons in the convection outer core [1]. Temperatures in the outer core reach those of the sun's surface (5,800 degrees Celsius), allowing the liquid iron of the core to flow as readily as water and conduct electricity slightly better than does copper. According to theory the influence of the Earth's rotation and heat propels the molten iron in the outer core, which when interacting with the magnetic field of the Earth, generates a magnetic field as well, reinforcing the Earth's field [2]. The geodynamo is thus self-perpetuating.

However, this theory does not explain the original origin of the Earth's magnetic field, other than to postulate that it “has been present to some extent throughout geological time” [2]. Neither does the theory explain the cause of the dipole field's decay, nor the forces behind its secular variations (including westward drift). The dipole field, for example, is decaying about ten times faster than can be accounted for in the current theories [1].

Associated theories of geomagnetic pole reversals are similarly flawed. For example, Hoffman [1] suggests that “the reversal phenomenon may be triggered when something disturbs the convection pattern of the core fluid, and with it the magnetic flux” [emphasis added]. This “something” might derive from what some theorists conjecture to be the outer core of the Earth forming a chaotic system, and out of the chaos arising periodic geomagnetic reversals [3].

An alternative theory, but one which has found minimal support, is that a meteorite striking the Earth could loft dust into the atmosphere which would suddenly cool the Earth to the point where the formation of ice caps at the poles could speed the Earth's rotation, and thus in turn cause shearing between the mantle and outer core, and thereby cause the reversal [7]. The flaw here is that major volcanic activity could yield the same result, but that such activity during the Cretaceous Period actually resulted in a stable geomagnetic condition [8].

At the time it was initially proposed, a basic assumption in the outer-core-generated geodynamo theory was that there were no other planetary or solar system induced electromagnetic fields which, in turn, could account for the cause of the geomagnetic field. In effect, the theory was proposed prior to the discovery that the solar system is literally awash in electromagnetic forces. These forces include: the interplanetary magnetic field, the Sun's magnetic field (and its continually progressing reversal every 22 years or so), the solar wind, and the magnetospheres of various planets (including the Earth).

There is also the tendency for geo scientists of every stripe to specialize in their fields of research and thus ignore whatever was happening in the astro sciences! This is not an uncommon occurrence in mainstream, non-holistic science.

Bagenal [9] has shown mathematically that “magnetospheres of rapidly rotating planets with strong magnetic fields [e.g. Jupiter and Saturn] are dominated by rotation while the solar wind controls the plasma flow in smaller magnetospheres of slowly rotating planets [e.g. Earth].” If this is the case, then the Earth's geomagnetic field would have as its primary initiator, and possibly controlling factor, an externally generated field (possibly the solar wind and/or the interplanetary magnetic field).

External Electromagnetic Field Effects on the Geomagnetic Field

The Sun and the solar wind provides the primary influence on the Earth's geomagnetic field. The solar wind consists of charged particles from the sun, which varies with the degree of solar activity. This solar activity is best exemplified by sunspots, and results in a virtual sheet of current flowing from the sun (in turn producing a very complex magnetic field). Meanwhile, the Sun's magnetic field changes from being aligned parallel to its axis of rotation at the minimum of sunspot activity, to perpendicular at the peak of what is referred to as the sunspot cycle [10]. The sunspot cycle and thus the orientation of the Sun's magnetic field has a period, on average, of 22.25 years; and a longer term cycle of 178 years.

Planetary magnetic fields, such as Jupiter and Saturn, are considerably less documented, but appear to be rotation based. Because of the solar wind, the planets' magnetic fields in outer space take on the configuration of tear-shaped magnetospheres. In the case of Earth, the strange orientation of the magnetic poles twists this tear shape almost 30 degrees, and thus imposes additional complexity to the problem. In the case of Jupiter, its magnetosphere extends out as far as the orbit of Saturn, with material being forcibly “disconnected from Jupiter and flung down the tail” [9].

This electromagnetic movement of charged particles from Jupiter might be termed the “Jupiter Wind”. In each case, the magnetospheres of the planets act as a shield against the effects of the solar wind, but a shield which may not be entirely effective. In the case of the Earth, the geomagnetic pressure very nearly balances the dynamic pressure of the solar wind. This equalized pressure surface layer is termed the “magnetopause” [11], and acts as a shield for 99% of the solar wind [12].

Sunspots, the solar wind, and the interplanetary magnetic field induced primarily by the Sun, have numerous effects on the Earth. The Earth's geomagnetic field, in all likelihood, is caused or originated by the solar effects [9]. Variations in the solar field would also, undoubtedly, effect the Earth. These effects include everything from massive disruptions in electronic or electromagnetic communications during heightened sunspot activity to correlations between sunspot activity and popular revolutions and uprisings. In the latter case, Margaret Thatcher arrived and departed from 10 Downing Street at peak periods in the 11.25 year sunspot cycle [13].

The effects of other planets' electromagnetic fields on the Earth is generally dismissed as insignificant in comparison to the solar effects. While some astrologers may insist that all planetary effects must be taken into account, major effects such as other planets causing or triggering magnetic pole reversals are not considered as remotely possible. This is due to the fact that the solar wind dominates the interplanetary space.

However, if the solar wind was temporarily interrupted in a very limited locale, any planets' magnetosphere might significantly influence the electromagnetic properties of other planets. The basis of this paper is that just such a temporary, limited interruption can and does periodically occur.

Alternative Theory for Geomagnetic Pole Reversals

During those periods which astrologers call “Sun-Jupiter oppositions”, the Earth is situated directly between the Sun and Jupiter. Strictly speaking, because of the differences in the inclination of the orbits of the two planets, such oppositions refer only to the longitudinal dimension—the latitudinal dimension is still considerably different. In most all cases the Earth is not effectively in alignment with the Sun and Jupiter. Instead the Earth is either considerably below or above the line connecting the Sun and Jupiter. A near perfect alignment of the Sun, Earth and Jupiter, when the Earth would quite literally cast an electromagnetic “shadow” on Jupiter's magnetosphere, occurs extremely rarely. Such a near perfect alignment occurs only when the Earth passes between the Sun and Jupiter longitudinally, and simultaneously, the difference in latitude between the Earth and Jupiter is less than one minute of arc. The key factor is that, in those cases when such a near-perfect alignment does occur, the effects may be significant!

The concept being suggested here is that during a near-perfect alignment of the Sun, Earth, and Jupiter -- i.e. the longitudes of Earth and Jupiter exact, and the differences in latitude within less than one minute of arc -- the “Jupiter Wind”, i.e. the giant planet's magnetosphere, responds to the temporary cessation of the dynamic pressure of the solar wind (caused by the Earth's electromagnetic “shadow” falling on Jupiter's magnetosphere) by an electromagnetic surge in the direction of the null spot of the solar wind, i.e. the Earth. Furthermore, this so-called Jupiter Wind consists of charged particles with the more energetic, negatively charged electrons leading the way and leaving the more massive, positively charged protons far behind [11]. The charged particles, no longer constrained by the pressure of the solar wind, are essentially flung out into space in the direction of the Earth.

The alignment is a dynamic event with the solar wind quickly reasserting its pressure as the Earth moves out from between the Sun and Jupiter. For this reason, with the charged particles reaching the Earth initially being electrons, and inasmuch as the protons might be turned back by the solar wind by the removal of the Earth's shadow before the protons can reach the Earth, the portion of the Jupiter Wind reaching the Earth might be predominantly electrons. Because of the distance from Jupiter to the Earth (about four times the distance from the Earth to the Sun) and the time for the Earth's electromagnetic shadow to pass over Jupiter's magnetosphere, it is likely that only the most energetic electrons would reach the Earth in this fashion.

The leading edge of the Jupiter Wind would effectively sweep across the earth (just as the Earth's shadow swept across the face of Jupiter), causing a negatively charged surge, which when in combination with the solar wind could cause a massive electromagnetic force against the Earth's geomagnetic field. In many respects, the Jupiter Wind could provide the trigger and “reversing mechanism” while the solar wind provides the power.

The potential for such a geomagnetic pole reversal event would thus be predictable by simply calculating those dates when the Sun-Earth-Jupiter alignment is sufficiently precise to cause the shadowing effect. However, the intensity of the solar wind, the orientation of the Sun's magnetic field, and the degree of sunspot activity might serve to add to or negate the Jupiter Wind effect. In this regard, at minimal sunspot activity and a relatively weak solar wind, the Sun's magnetic field is parallel to its axis of rotation. This results in the interplanetary magnetic field transferring greater amounts of energy into the Earth's magnetosphere [11]. Conversely, when the sunspot activity is at a peak, with a strong solar wind, the Sun's magnetic field is perpendicular to its axis of rotation [10]. There is also the possibility that the planet Saturn could conceivably accomplish a geomagnetic reversal as well, but because its magnetosphere is less than Jupiter, and because it is much further away, the chances of Sun-Earth-Saturn alignments causing a pole reversal is much less.

There is also evidence that sunspots are connected with the alignment of planets. For example, if one considers the larger sunspot cycle of 178 years and Jupiter's orbit about the Sun of 11.862 years, one obtains: 1/178 + 1/11.862 = 1/P where P = 11.121 (a value extremely close to the average solar activity of 11.125 years) [12]. Such a correlation lends credence to the concept that electromagnetism connects the solar system in a profound manner. If an alignment of the Earth with the Sun and other planets can cause a geomagnetic pole reversal, or an excursion, the connection is more than profound.

Effects of Electromagnetic Surges on the Earth

On the one hand, the Sun is known to “ring like a bell.” Furthermore, it changes its tune (or the acoustic frequency at which the sun oscillates), increasing slightly as the solar cycle goes from a minimum to a maximum – a change of about 1 part in 10,000. [14] There is also “a sharp drop in neutrino flux” as the solar cycle approaches its maximum. [15] This is mentioned in that one might have been missing some of their neutrino income during such times. From the technical scientific viewpoint, “Something does something to the neutrinos.” [15] Isn't science wonderful?

The effects of sunspot activity and solar wind conditions on the Earth and its inhabitants is considerable. Climate, for example, follows the sunspot cycle, such that “alternate sunspot peaks coincide with highs and lows in the temperature cycles. [16] Solar flares can cause compass readings to be wrong by as much as ten degrees, thus playing havoc with navigation. [17] “Fluctuations in the sun were once correlated with the taste of wine.” [18] In years when certain equatorial winds were blowing from the west, polar temperatures rise and fall with solar activity; but when these winds are from the east, the opposite effect is observed. [19]

Correlations also exist between peak sunspot activity and serious deterioration in electronic or electromagnetic power [20] and communication channels on Earth. Such solar activity affects weather and climate in significant ways, in some cases causing worldwide cooling [12]. As noted before, some researchers have noted correlations between sunspot activity and popular uprisings. Possibly first commented on “by the Estonian astronomer Ernst Opik in 1956, the years 1789, 1830, 1848, 1871, 1905, 1917, 1937, 1956, 1968, 1979, and 1989-90 are all notable both for their popular uprisings and maximum or near-maximum sunspot activity.” [13]

The gist of the argument by Estling [13] is that heavy sunspot activity leads to a decrease in the number of “negatively ionized gases in the Earth's atmosphere, and inasmuch as a heavy concentration of negative ions (atoms or groups of atoms with one or more extra electrons) provides an increased sense of wellbeing, it follows that a sharp rise in positively charged ions (especially hydrogen nuclei or protons) results in a decreased sense of well being and thus the occasion for yet another popular revolution!” One might note that the extremely heavy sunspot activity of 2000 led to the appointment of George Bush as president, and the instigation by various fundamentalists of a “popular revolution” which pointed the USA in the direction of a theocracy. Obviously, such a “popular revolution” is not necessarily a good thing!

The effects of massive solar fluctuations in the electromagnetic field can also influence life on Earth in other significant ways. For example, it is believed that extremely minute doses of magnetite in bacteria allow swimming bacteria to orient to the geomagnetic field. Similarly, homing pigeons, bees and termites are believed to use the same magnetite in conjunction with the geomagnetic field in the form of a navigational aid -- much as humans use compasses. Recently, researchers [21, 22] have found the mineral magnetite in human brain tissue, where it may represent part of a magnetic sensing system. The consistency of size, shape and distribution of the crystals has suggested that the magnetite has some biological function. In addition, such magnetite containing tissues may interact directly with weak magnetic fields.

Interactions of human or animal tissues with magnetic fields include the possible link of electrical distribution power lines with heightened cancer incidence and the onset of Alzheimer's disease [23]. In addition, there is increasing evidence that low intensity electromagnetic energy interactions might be fundamental to life processes, including the potential for therapeutic use [24]. Gregor Wieser [25] has conducted experiments with human subjects which suggest that changes in a magnetic field, rather than its mere presence, is the important factor; and that furthermore, weaker magnetic fields (such as the Earth's geomagnetic field) may be better at influencing the brain than stronger fields! The human immune system efficiency appears to particularly susceptible to fluctuating electromagnetic field (EMF) effects [26]. Obviously, a rapidly fluctuating geomagnetic field or a field reversal would have much greater effects on the human organism.

Effects of a geomagnetic pole reversal on the Earth as a whole is highly speculative, but could involve some dramatic effects. For example, any reversal of the geomagnetic field would influence the electrically conducting outer core of the Earth, particularly at the interface between the outer core and the Earth's mantle. This could result in a massive increase in volcanic activity. The fact that volcanic activity appears cyclical [12] may correlate with the cyclical nature of the planets, Sun and Moon – including their alignments. Volcanic activity is, in turn, intimately tied to weather and climate -- the massive flooding in the American Midwest during the spring and summer of 1993 was, according to some experts [27], directly caused by Mount Pinatubo 's eruption in 1991!

In addition to volcanic effects there is the possibility of a significant increase in the shifting of the continental plates, which would in turn, cause major increases in earthquake activity. While there is no evidence that the disturbances in the outer core-mantle interface would result in a geographical pole shift, the fact remains that such disturbances could act as a trigger for built up pressures in the continental plates. Major continental plate shifts of sufficient strength could then correspond to a geographical pole shift or something approaching such severity. This latter possibility is highly speculative, but not easily dismissed out of hand. It does, however, allow for the possibility that the Richter Scale may need some revisions upward.

From an energy viewpoint, an apparent geographical pole shift is possible by shifting the continental plates, while at the same time, the bulk of the Earth continue to rotate about the same axis. Thus the geographical pole's location with respect to the surface of the Earth and its relationship to the orientation of the continental plates has apparently been shifted, even while the bulk of the Earth continues to rotate essentially as before. In this fashion, major shifts of the continental plates with respect to the rotating bulk of the Earth have already been well documented by the events which occurred worldwide about the time of the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt, approximately 3,500 years ago [28]. See, for example, Sun, Stand Thou Still.

Something to Look Forward To

The potential for a Sun-Earth-Jupiter near perfect alignment to cause a geomagnetic pole reversal may be significant. And in the event of a reversal, or even a relatively short-term excursion of the geomagnetic pole, the results would be considerably more than a disruption of communication links around the globe. The effects of such a pole shift could cause everything from major disruptions in the lives of human and animals (conceivably both positive and negative effects) to catastrophic earth changes. The latter might include extensive volcanic activity, massive earthquakes, and substantial movements of continental plates. The question thus arises: When is the next “window of opportunity” for such an event?

Geopalenotologists rather glibly talk of such reversals occurring every millions years or so. By their own data, however, such reversals have been occurring, on average, every 400,000 years, and the last such reversal was 730,000 years ago. Common logic would suggest that the earth is overdue for a geomagnetic pole reversal. There is also the fact that the odds of a comet hitting a planet are also very low, but then comet Shoemaker-Levy did exactly that to the planet Jupiter just a few years ago, suggesting that even against long odds of something happening in span of a century or so, hits happen!

In addition, one notes that peaks of sunspot activity have occurred in 1906, 1918, 1928, 1939, 1948, 1958, 1969 [12], 1979-1980, and 1989-1990. Simple arithmetic suggests that 2001-2002 is the next expected peak in the cycle, and sure enough the sunspot activity during this period of time was extraordinary in terms of intensity, numbers of sunspots, and similar effects (including Corona Mass Discharges). In addition, for the first time in centuries, the Earth, Sun and Jupiter formed a near-perfect alignment on December 31, 2001 (at approximately 10:30 PM MST !). Incredibly, the Earth, Sun and Saturn formed a near-perfect alignment on January 13, 2005 (approximately 3:55 PM MST ). It would have appeared that the Jupiter date was far more likely to effect the Earth, but the only major disaster was the continuation of the Bush presidency, the aftermath of 9/11/2001, Afghanistan, Iraq, and… Well, perhaps that's enough. Certainly there was a poll shift with massive catastrophic effects!

Astrologically Speaking

The next peak in sunspot activity is expected in 2012. That date alone is enough to cause some consternation, in that according to some sources the Mayan Calendar ends, and the world will never be quite the same. Meanwhile the Jupiter-Sun oppositions are continuing on an approximate 13 month basis to rotate around the Zodiac. Then on December 2, 2012 , the opposition occurs with the Sun in Sagittarius and Jupiter in Gemini. The respective declinations are within one degree of being in exact opposition. The curious part is that the planets, Pluto, Mars, and Venus form with Jupiter something called the “Finger of Destiny” with Jupiter as the focal point. Astrologically, Jupiter is the ‘Santa Claus' of the Zodiac and tends to bring good things. Interestingly, enough, this includes death and the release from the trials and tribulations of earthly existence. Thus this special emphasis on Jupiter can mean release for some and/or an evolutionary ascension for others.

This might suggest that December 2012 is a candidate for a magnetic pole shift of the evolutionary kind. Prophecies of the past concerning 2012 might very well have validity, and when combined with the science of today – its growing understanding of the electromagnetic nature of our Solar System – one tends to suspect that we will soon be living the ancient Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times.” But the so-called ‘curse', like the Chinese symbol which represents both chaos and opportunity, may prove to be a curse for some and virgin fields of opportunity for others.

What can we in fact expect if a magnetic pole shift (or excursion) occurs? Well in the case of December 2012, consider the astrological interpretations of this particular cosmic event.

Dane Rudhyar, until his death considered by most astrologers to be the dean of astrology, had interpreted a series known as Sabian Symbols, and these interpretations have become a mainstay of astrological interpretation. If we apply the appropriate symbols for the Sun-Jupiter opposition, we obtain two symbols (and their interpretation).

For the Sun, the symbol is: “A Flag Turns into an Eagle; The Eagle into a Chanticleer saluting the Dawn.” That should get your immediate attention. But there's even more. Rudhyar's interpretation [29] of the Sun's symbol is: “The spiritualization and promotion of great symbols of a New Age by minds sensitive to its precursory manifestations.” He goes on to say that “the eagle symbolizes spiritual will and the power to rise to the highest possible altitude of consciousness and purpose.” “It speaks of ‘peak experiences' instead of the wisdom found in the organismic depth of the body-consciousness. It urges us to bring our noblest ideals to actual life through the power of the spiritual will.”

That view, perhaps, we can handle. Considering the fact that the Eagle has always been a symbol of lofty aims – along with its ability to first sense the rising sun – such a new dawn might be okay. We can, then, with slightly less trepidation, consider the flip side of the opposition.

Rudhyar's interpretation [29] for the Sabian Symbol for Jupiter during this opposition is: “Liberation from the ghosts of the past.” People discovering new or virgin lands are often carrying such baggage as to inhibit the manifestation of anything resembling a new world. “The Puritans brought to the theoretically ‘New World' the fears, the fanaticism and the aggressiveness of their European existence, and these often grew more virulent under the conditions found in the New World. But no field of activity is every totally ‘virgin'. It has its inhabitants, and they cling to their possessions or privileges. Whoever seeks to be truly an individual must be liberated from the past . The new lands are opened, but they are filled with lives, and the pioneer's mind filled with ghosts, preconceptions, and prejudices or expectations. What is needed is a total LIQUIDATION of the past: virgin minds for virgin fields.” [emphasis added]

One can then make their own personal interpretation of what “Liquidation” might entail. The end of the Infernal Revenue Service? Yea! The end of sliced bread? Maybe (depends of your personal view of carbohydrates and diet). The end of chocolate covered strawberries? Horrors!

Just remember to keep in mind the modern adage, “An optimist is someone who thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist is someone who fears that this is true.” Either way, it's the same world – it's just a matter of perspective. It's your choice on how you choose to look at it.



[1] Kenneth Hoffman, “Ancient Magnetic Reversals: Clues to the Geodynamo”, Scientific American , pages 76-83, May, 1988.

[2] Jeremy Bloxham and David Gubbins, “The Evolution of the Earth's Magnetic Field”, Scientific American , pages 68-75, December, 1989.

[3] Rober Lewin, Roger, “Earth's Field Flips Flipping Fast”, Science , page 26, January 25, 1992 .

[4] Mike Fuller, “Fast Changes in Geomagnetism”, Nature , vol 339, pages 582-3, June 22, 1989 .

[5] Andy Jackson, “Still Poles Apart on Reversals”, Nature , vol 358, pages 194-5, July 16, 1992 .

[6] Richard Monastersky, “The Flap Over Magnetic Flips”, Science News , vol 143, pages 378-380, June 12, 1993 .

[7] Richard Monastersky, “Earth as Egg: Hard-Boiled or Raw?” Science News , vol 139, page 319, May 20, 1989 .

[8] Richard Monastersky, “Earth Burps and Magnetic Flips”, Science News , vol 141, page 14, 1991.

[9] Fran Bagenal, “Giant Planet Magnetospheres”, Annual Review of Earth Planetary Sciences , vol 20, pages 289-328, 1992.

[10] Sue Bowler, “A Simple Model for Planets' Magnetic Fields?” New Scientist , vol 126, page 32, June 16, 1990 .

[11] Alan Rodger and John Dudeney, “Merging at the Magneto- pause”, Nature , vol 36, page 407, February 4, 1993 .

[12] Iben Browning and Evelyn M. Garriss, Past and Future History , Fraser Publishing Company, Burlington , Vermont , 1981.

[13] Ralph Estling, “Brought Down by the Sun”, New Scientist , vol 129, page 54, January 5, 1991 .

[14] “Ringing to the beat of the solar cycle”, Science News , vol 138, page 7, July 7, 1990 .

[15] “The COBE universe: Portrait at 300,000,” Science News , vol 137, April 21, 1990 .

[16] Science, New Scientist , page 27, August 19, 1989 .

[17] “Solar flares send navigators off in the wrong direction,” New Scientist , page 15, June 22, 1991 .

[18] Paul Hoffman, “On the Spot,” Discover , page 4, November, 1989.

[19] Discover , page 48, November 1989.

[20] Electrical World , page 63, March 1992.

[21] Marcia Barinaga, “Giving Personal Magnetism a Whole New Meaning”, Science , vol 256, page 967, May 15, 1992 .

[22] Charlene Crabb, “Magnetic Minds”, Discover , vol 14, page 70-71, January, 1993.

[23] E. Stanton Maxey, M.D., “Reducing Exposure to Electromagnetic Fields”, Frontier Perspectives , vol 3, pages 4-5, Fall 1992.

[24] Jan Walleczek, “The Immune System and ELF Electromagnetic Fields”, Frontier Perspectives , vol 3, pages 7-10, Fall 1992.

[25] Gregor Wieser, “An Exciting Field to Work In”, The Economist , vol 328, page 80, July 3, 1993 .

[26] James B. Beal, “Electromagnetic Fields: How Dangerous?” Frontier Perspectives , vol 3, pages 22-25. Fall, 1992.

[27] John Liscio, “Pinatubo and the Prairie; A Pacific Volcano Slams the Corn Belt ”, Barron's , pages 8-21, August 23, 1993 .

[28] Immanuel Velikovsky, Worlds in Collision , Macmillan , NY , 1950.

[29] Dane Rudhyar, An Astrological Mandala: The Cycle of Transformations and Its 360 Symbolic Phases , Vintage Books / Random House, New York , 1974.

Ray of hope..

Only four and a half more years of life on this godawful rock..

NASA Claims Polar Shift Due In 2012

Solar System - Did you notice? In February 2001, the Sun did a magnetic polar shift. The next one is due again in 2012. NASA scientists who monitor the Sun say that our star's awesome magnetic field flipped 22 months ago, signaling the arrival of a solar maximum. But it wasn't so obvious to the average human.

The Sun's magnetic north pole, which was in the northern hemisphere just a few months ago, now points south. It's a topsy-turvy situation, but not an unexpected one. "This always happens around the time of solar maximum," says David Hathaway, a solar physicist at the Marshall Space Flight Center. "The magnetic poles exchange places at the peak of the sunspot cycle. In fact, it's a good indication that Solar Max is really here."

The Sun's magnetic poles will remain as they are now, with the north magnetic pole pointing through the Sun's southern hemisphere, until the year 2012 when they will reverse again. This transition happens, as far as we know, at the peak of every 11-year sunspot cycle -- like clockwork.

Earth’s magnetic field also flips, but with less regularity. Consecutive reversals are spaced 5 thousand years to 50 million years apart. The last reversal happened 740,000 years ago. Some researchers think our planet is overdue for another one, but nobody knows exactly when the next reversal might occur.

Although solar and terrestrial magnetic fields behave differently, they do have something in common: their shape. During solar minimum the Sun's field, like Earth's, resembles that of an iron bar magnet, with great closed loops near the equator and open field lines near the poles. Scientists call such a field a "dipole." The Sun's dipolar field is about as strong as a refrigerator magnet, or 50 gauss (a unit of magnetic intensity). Earth's magnetic field is 100 times weaker.

When solar maximum arrives and sunspots pepper the face of the Sun, our star's magnetic field begins to change. Sunspots are places where intense magnetic loops -- hundreds of times stronger than the ambient dipole field -- poke through the photosphere.

"Meridional flows on the Sun's surface carry magnetic fields from mid-latitude sunspots to the Sun's poles," explains Hathaway. "The poles end up flipping because these flows transport south-pointing magnetic flux to the north magnetic pole, and north-pointing flux to the south magnetic pole." The dipole field steadily weakens as oppositely-directed flux accumulates at the Sun's poles until, at the height of solar maximum, the magnetic poles change polarity and begin to grow in a new direction.

Hathaway noticed the latest polar reversal in a "magnetic butterfly diagram." Using data collected by astronomers at the U.S. National Solar Observatory on Kitt Peak, he plotted the Sun's average magnetic field, day by day, as a function of solar latitude and time from 1975 through the present. The result is a sort of strip chart recording that reveals evolving magnetic patterns on the Sun's surface. "We call it a butterfly diagram," he says, "because sunspots make a pattern in this plot that looks like the wings of a butterfly." In the butterfly diagram, pictured below, the Sun's polar fields appear as strips of uniform color near 90 degrees latitude. When the colors change (in this case from blue to yellow or vice versa) it means the polar fields have switched signs.

The ongoing changes are not confined to the space immediately around our star, Hathaway added. The Sun's magnetic field envelops the entire solar system in a bubble that scientists call the "heliosphere." The heliosphere extends 50 to 100 astronomical units (AU) beyond the orbit of Pluto. Inside it is the solar system -- outside is interstellar space.

"Changes in the Sun's magnetic field are carried outward through the heliosphere by the solar wind," explains Steve Suess, another solar physicist at the Marshall Space Flight Center. "It takes about a year for disturbances to propagate all the way from the Sun to the outer bounds of the heliosphere." Because the Sun rotates (once every 27 days) solar magnetic fields corkscrew outwards in the shape of an Archimedian spiral. Far above the poles the magnetic fields twist around like a child's Slinky toy.

Because of all the twists and turns, "the impact of the field reversal on the heliosphere is complicated," says Hathaway. Sunspots are sources of intense magnetic knots that spiral outwards even as the dipole field vanishes. The heliosphere doesn't simply wink out of existence when the poles flip -- there are plenty of complex magnetic structures to fill the void.

Or so the theory goes.... Researchers have never seen the magnetic flip happen from the best possible point of view -- that is, from the top down. But now, the unique Ulysses spacecraft may give scientists a reality check. Ulysses, an international joint venture of the European Space Agency and NASA, was launched in 1990 to observe the solar system from very high solar latitudes. Every six years the spacecraft flies 2.2 AU over the Sun's poles. No other probe travels so far above the orbital plane of the planets. "Ulysses just passed under the Sun's south pole," says Suess, a mission co-Investigator. "Now it will loop back and fly over the north pole in the fall."

"This is the most important part of our mission," he says. Ulysses last flew over the Sun's poles in 1994 and 1996, during solar minimum, and the craft made several important discoveries about cosmic rays, the solar wind, and more. "Now we get to see the Sun's poles during the other extreme: Solar Max. Our data will cover a complete solar cycle."

To learn more about the Sun's changing magnetic field and how it is generated, please visit "The Solar Dynamo," a web page prepared by the NASA/Marshall solar research group. Updates from the Ulysses spacecraft may be found on the Internet from JPL at


(In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, this material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.)

Last straw gang

Faucet handle on master bath sink cracked off in my hand
Toilet is not flushing right, the guts need to be replaced.
Just sent out my payments for Flood Insurance and Homeowners.
Almost Six thousand dollars. That came from my cashed out 401K
And the little fridge on the patio died..
All today..ALL TODAY..
Tried, and can't get another job. Especially now that the season is over, perdiem jobs just vanish..
So guess what folks, I finally collapsed and cried..
I'm done here for a while I think.
Completely and utterly undone.

Tried to stay interested..

I think I'm just going to rest a while, regroup and just shut down mentally and emotionally.
I'm fried, stick a fork in me, I'm done.
This has been the week from hell.
Absolute hell.
And I'm fresh out of emotional reserve to bounce I'm just gonna zone out for a day or three.
And this is not whining folks, this is a very sad woman who is trying to figure out why her life ended up like this.
Why I had to be let down, again.
And why I can't stop loving.
That is the worst part, the very most horrible terrible part.
That the love still survives.
I can't even pray right now.
I'll be ok folks...god knows I will.
I have to be. Got no choice

Good cop, Baby cop

Another gem...I love this one too..

The Landlord

Still just as funny now as when it first came out...

Flu season story

Let me just say from personal experience, if that vaccine helped make my case milder, then God help anyone who had the full blown version.
I don't remember ever being that sick least not for years. I assume I had typeB Florida, so the vaccine was likely ineffective COMPLETELY.

US Says Flu Season Worst in Years
Posted: 2008-04-17 20:40:48
Filed Under: Health News, Nation News
ATLANTA (April 17) - The current flu season has shaped up to be the worst in four years, partly because the vaccine didn't work well against the viruses that made most people sick, health officials said Thursday.
This season's vaccine was the worst match since 1997-1998, when the vaccine didn't work at all against the circulating virus, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The 2007-2008 season started slowly, peaked in mid-February and seems to be declining, although cases are still being reported, CDC officials said.

Based on adult deaths from flu and pneumonia, this season is the worst since 2003-2004 - another time when the vaccine did not include the exact flu strain responsible for most illnesses.

Each year, health officials - making essentially an educated guess - formulate a vaccine against three viruses they think will be circulating. They guess well most of the time, and the vaccine is often between 70 and 90 percent effective.

But this year, two of the three strains were not good matches and the vaccine was only 44 percent effective, according to a study done in Marshfield, Wis. That seemed to match the experience in other parts of the country.

"We've had a pretty heavy season, both adult and pediatric. And there were a good number of cases - more than usual - who had received a vaccination," said Dr. Niranjan Bhat, a children's infectious disease specialist at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore.

The CDC compares flu season by looking at adult deaths from the flu or pneumonia in 122 cities. This year, those deaths peaked at 9 percent of all reported deaths in early March, and remained above an epidemic threshold for 13 consecutive weeks. In 2003-2004, they peaked at more than 10 percent of all deaths, and surpassed the epidemic threshold for nine weeks.

"Our season is not quite as high but is lasting a little longer," said Dr. Dan Jernigan, deputy director of the CDC's influenza division.

Pediatric deaths are another way flu seasons are compared. So far this season, 66 children died, including 46 who were not vaccinated. In 2003-2004, 153 children died.

Each year, the flu results in 200,000 hospitalizations and 36,000 deaths, according to official estimates. The elderly, young children and people with chronic illnesses are considered at greatest risk.

The CDC started working with the Marshfield Clinic in central Wisconsin to get a better gauge of vaccine effectiveness while a flu season was in progress. Almost the entire population in the Marshfield area - about 50,000 people - gets health care at clinic offices, which has complete vaccination and electronic medical records.

This year, most of the illness has been due to Type A H3N2 Brisbane strain, which was not in the vaccine. That strain tends to cause more hospitalizations and deaths, contributing to this season's severity, CDC officials said.

Type B Florida strain, also absent from this year's vaccine, has also been causing illness. Marshfield data showed that the vaccine was completely ineffective against the Type B virus, and was 58 percent effective against the Brisbane virus.
Jernigan acknowledged that some people may lose faith in the flu vaccine and skip it next year. But he noted even this year's mismatched vaccine still offered 44 percent protection overall and likely reduced the severity of illness in those who got the flu.

The Marshfield study and a flu season update are being published this week in a CDC publication, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2008-04-17 16:57:21

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Accident waiting to happen :-(

I am too distracted at work with thoughts today
Not paying attention, almost got contaminated fluid splashed in my eye, then stuck myself with a needle
Thank God it was a clean one
I am trying to clear my mind, and let worries go
Its tough

The sage wisdom of a 14 yr old girl

This is what she has said to me, more than once in the past few weeks..
I may not be Wiccan, but it sounds very wise and true.
Along the lines of "What goes around comes around"
Lil one is an old soul, and in that she is just like me. Got her verbal gifts from me, and she writes incredibly well.

Ethical Meta-Rules
A "meta-rule" is a broad, all-encompassing rule, like the Golden Rule (Treat others as you want to be treated). The primary meta-rules found in Pagan writings are summarized in the piece below. This and similar pieces of poetry are often associated with Gardnerian Witchcraft, and more specifically with Doreen Valienti.

Bide the Wiccan Law ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust.
These eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill,
An ye harm none, do as ye will.
And even mind the Rule of Three,
What ye send out comes back to thee.
Follow this with mind and heart,
And merry ye meet and merry ye part.

Morning blog faithful

I am off to work in a few mins...and its only 50 degrees..
I am going to enjoy this cool day like I did yesterdays, at
But the weather is wonderful, and I'll enjoy every second of it, because it surely won't last, and the sultry Florida heat will surely set back in soon.
We approach rainy season, and only a month and a half short of Hurricane season.
Now that I know I am facing it alone, I am ok...its better to be ok about it, and deal.
Used to dealing with things, so ahhh its ok.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Wax update for my female readers

The girl today was much more meticulous, and they were right, it didn't hurt nearly as much as the first time, not really at all...just stings in some places when they pull off the wax..
All in all, I'm glad I started it.


I felt tired, so I lay down to watch t.v..and fell asleep for over three hrs.
Heading out shortly to the wax salon, and that shoots my day up pretty much..
I guess I needed the sleep, but I am NOT a nap person.

For Rhapsody

She asked what IBS is...I have IBS-D

Irritable bowel syndrome
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Irritable bowel syndrome synonymous with GILL/HT/IB
Classification and external resources
ICD-10 K58.
ICD-9 564.1
DiseasesDB 30638
MedlinePlus 000246
eMedicine med/1190
MeSH D043183
Not to be confused with inflammatory bowel disease.
In gastroenterology, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a functional bowel disorder characterized by abdominal pain and changes in bowel habits which are not associated with any abnormalities seen on routine clinical testing. It is fairly common and makes up 20–50% of visits to gastroenterologists. Lower abdominal pain, and bloating associated with alteration of bowel habits and abdominal discomfort relieved with defecation are the most frequent symptoms. The abdominal pain type is usually described in a patient as either diarrhea-predominant (IBS-D), constipation-predominant (IBS-C) or IBS with alternating stool pattern (IBS-A). In some individuals, IBS may have an acute onset and develop after an infectious illness characterised by two or more of the following: fever, vomiting, diarrhea, or positive stool culture. This post-infective syndrome has consequently been termed "post-infectious IBS" (IBS-PI) and is acute onset Rome II criteria positive. This condition is more homogeneous, being mostly IBS-D and is drawing much clinical investigation.

Sunday, April 13, 2008


Is rearing its hugly head...
Groan...I am going to lie down and finish enjoying day two of the Deadliest Catch marathon..

Lil one is my hero...

We went out today to the mall, to help her pick up a present for her friend.
The friends boyfriend went, and I helped him pick out a Build a Bear ( financially lol)
Anyway, after we dropped him off we stopped to get some dinner.
Deleted rest of post for my own sake

Poetry from November 2006

If anyone hasn't read the whole can start from there, and see what the hell it is I'm talking about with the venting and stuff.
The poems he wrote for me were beautiful then and still are now.
I was going to remove everything, but it should stand as a testament and a warning to any other poor woman who happens to think she's found love.
I was sure I had.
Almost 50 yrs old and still so


A thing I've never had when it mattered in a relationship.
Having it feels good.
I vented, and for once I'm not being a sap and listening to any more lies, or lectures about trust.

Main Entry: trust
Pronunciation: \ˈtrəst\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse traust trust; akin to Old English trēowe faithful — more at true
Date: 13th century
1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: one in which confidence is placed
2 a: dependence on something future or contingent : hope b: reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit
3 a: a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another b: a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4archaic : trustworthiness
5 a (1): a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2): something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another b: responsible charge or office c: care, custody
— in trust : in the care or possession of a trustee

Saturday, April 12, 2008


After I got home from dropping Lil one at the movies..I went in to her room to check on the kits.
They were all hiding behind her desk..
I sat on her bed and called them by bella, edward...alice...
And one by one they all came prancing out, right past me and in to their bed....lmao...
Bella the timid was last, but didn't take long to follow her siblings into the bed.
Where they all curled up in a sibly ball and blinked sleepily at me....
OMG...I had forgotten how lovely cats were.
We had cats the whole time I was in NY..and altho I've always considered myself a dog person, cats are a unique entity aren't they?
And as for smart as hell, I litter trained them the first evening..
Try doing that with a

The world I know

I heard this song on the radio after dropping Lil one off at the movies.
I've loved it every time I've heard it, but had to go to 93rock when I got home to the last songs played feature to find out who does it..
Heres the link to my fave station if anyone wants to listen along with me here in the tropics.

Collective Soul "The world I know"

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.

I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

Are we listening
To hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see
That love is gathering?

All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding Into one.

Into One

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

And I don't know why.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

Yeah, I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

More kitty pics

Oh and I can't wait to share this...

Just got back from my walk, stripped the sweaty clothes off and weighed in.
I've lost FIFTEEN LBS...
Wow...I'm so freaking HAPPY!!!!!

Self pity

I know this will come as a complete and utter shock to you guys....but I tend to indulge in self pity....
Shocked? I know...
I promise to try hard to return the blog to more entertaining and interesting things.
Ok..this morning I sat on the patio in my chair, and watched the lake and the birds.
The Ibis feeding in the yard, the Muscovy ducks waddling about and swimming in the water.
The Blue Jays that nest in my yard are fluttering about and squawking. And the Mockingbirds are doing their annual staking of their claim silliness.
Its 76 degrees right now, and its supposed to be a beautiful weekend.
I am going to change and go for a long walk to clear my head and get the blood pumping.
What a loss for those of you who can't experience the wonder and the beauty of life here in the Tropics.
I can't emphasize too much, yet again, how glorious and everchanging it is here.
So much life and abundance of color. And now that the season is over, I have an urge to drive to the beach for lunch. I miss the ocean but tend to stay away from the beach when the season is going.
Too crowded you see..with tourists and the like.
This is a nice between time, after easter and before summer break when the beach crowds up again with locals vacationing at the beach hotels.
I will never regret taking the huge chance of giving everything familiar up in NY and moving here.
As it ended up, I am still outcast from my small family, but I am ok..of course I wish things were different, that we were speaking, but at least Mom is speaking to me.
Taking a chance, risking everything was worth it to be so happy in living in this paradise.
And as it turns out, it was a blessed thing. There is no way in hell I could have managed the house in NY by myself, and I have no doubt that divorce was inevitable in my marriage.
One way or another, it would have happened...because things happen for a reason.
That I have to believe.
So I'm praying, often, and trying to now see that if I have faith, that the things that happen in my life are for a reason.
And eventually, the reason will become clearer.

Not joy, but a measure of happiness

When Lil one came home from the movies last night, I joined her in her room with the kits.
They played with their catnip mice, and I trailed a string on the floor enticing them to play..
Their personalities are shining thru already.
Alice is calm and thoughtful. Edward is bolder, and the chance taker.
Bella, now little Bella is timid at first, but the most playful once engaged.
I couldn't help laughing, and Lil one was hushing me because she was taking a video with my digital camera, and saying "Mom stop, this is for my My Space" and laughing as well...
At some point, the play with me turned to them wrestling on the floor together, rolling around two or three at a time..
Play, life, pleasure in each others familiarity.
And I suddenly was glad we took three, not two, and certainly not one..
Being with the ones you love will keep their bond, and hopefully make happy content kits/cats.
And its been good for Lil one and I. We planned, we shopped, and we did this as a team.
For the first time in forever, I laughed without reserve and thanked those lil guys..

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Policy of truth

by Depeche Mode..

I loved these guys when I was in college for the second time..
And this song...damn..
oh yeah.

The policy of truth.

You had something to hide
Should have hidden it, shouldn't you
Now you're not satisfied
With what you re being put through

Its just time to pay the price
For not listening to advice
And deciding in your youth
On the policy of truth

Things could be so different now
It used to be so civilised
You will always wonder how
It could have been if you'd only lied

Its too late to change events
Its time to face the consequence
For delivering the proof
In the policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before
Never again
Is what you swore
The time before

Now you re standing there tongue tied
You'd better learn your lesson well
Hide what you have to hide
And tell what you have to tell

You ll see your problems multiplied
If you continually decide
To faithfully pursue
The policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before
Never again
Is what you swore
The time before

Tell me what it takes...

What it takes by Aerosmith

There goes my old girlfriend, there's another diamond ring
And, uh, all those late night promises I guess they don't mean a thing
So baby, what's the story? Did you find another man?
Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?
When you don't look back I guess the feelings start to fade away.
I used to feel your fire
But now it's cold inside
And you're back on the street like you didn't miss a beat, yeah

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me what it takes to let you go.

Girl, before I met you I was F.I.N.E. Fine
but your love made me a prisoner, yeah my heart's been doing time
You spent me up like money, then you hung me out to dry
It was easy to keep all your lies in disguise
Cause you had me in deep with the devil in your eyes

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me what it takes to let you go.

Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own Yeah, yeah, yeah
Tell me that it's better when you're all alone
Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch
Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much
Tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
No no no no 'cause I don't wanna burn in paradise
Ooo Let go, let go, let go,
let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go,
let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
I don't wanna burn, I don't wanna burn

New additions to the family

This is James Marsters...THE SPIKE...SIGH...
Sigh...I am such a sap and a sucker to boot.
Lil ones friends cat had kittens, and we went to see them today.
I have never seen such cute kittens in my life!
Silver hair with dark stripes on their tails..and blue eyes!
They have three males, and god help me I'm going to take all three.
I'll be honest, I miss having cats.
So I stood there holding one specific one, looked into his blue eyes and thought, damn you are SPIKE..
So despite the fact I really cannot afford it, kittens we shall have...we will take all three.
I can't take two and leave the last boy alone. I watched them all curl up together and thought, damn...noone needs to be the last one left alone. And how to leave that one, how to choose two out of three.
All boys...Lil one already picked out the names of the other two, Edward and Jasper from one of our favorite book series..Twilight.
Oddly enough, also a story about a Vampire..Edward..and his love for Bella.
What is it about us women in this family, with our fascination for Vampires who love mortal women?
Pics will follow in a day or so.
I need to go to Walmart and pick up supplies for the kits.
All I need to know is if they are weaned to food.
I already checked the local PETSUPERMARKET for a vaccine clinic.
We'll just need to gradually intro them to the Boys of the Canine
After all, they are trained to hunt small furry critters.
What on earth am I getting in to?

What once was

Smashed and wrecked, the house came down
the timbers groaned and creaked their pain
the walls had shivered and dust crept out
what once stood tall, was crooked and bent
a glance inside showed nothing remained
of the home that sheltered such books and things
the pictures gone, all glass astrewn
and silence reigned where once was sound
the wind that blows and comes from the east
brings rain and storms to the flat blue sky
and drips of same came in thru the cracks
that inhabited the home where the books once lay
rebuild or abandon is the question you pose
as you gaze at the wreck one used to call home
and no clear answer rings out in the air
so sit and gaze, ponder and cry
the hearth lies empty
what now do you think, of what once was.

by Melodybleu 4/10/08

Adam Gontier is HOT..

Even hotter live, BELIEVE ME!
So this video is just for the eye I do love the song, it holds alot of meaning for me as you guys know..
But the video? Pure Adam eye candy.

A little more of FOB..

This is my favorite video..

Updated Hurricane forecast 2008

By Ken Kaye |
11:55 AM EDT, April 9, 2008
Saying conditions have become more favorable for hurricanes to form, Colorado State University forecasters William Gray and Phil Klotzbach on Wednesday called for 15 named storms, including eight hurricanes, with four of those being intense - or what would amount to a well-above average season.

"We are calling for a very active hurricane season this year, but not as active as the 2004 and 2005 seasons," Klotzbach said in a statement.

The two storm prognosticators cited the possibility of that a weak La Niña might extend into the six-month hurricane season, which starts June 1. La Niña is an atmospheric condition that fosters storm formation.

They also note the Atlantic basin remains in a cycle of heightened tropical activity, the result of abnormally warm waters.

If their forecast holds, it would amount to a busy, potentially destructive tropical year, as on average a season sees 11 named storms, including six hurricanes, with two of those being intense, with winds greater than 110 mph.

In all, Gray and Klotzbach predict tropical cyclone activity in 2008 will be 160 percent of the average season. By comparison, in 2005, the busiest season on record, the tropical cyclone activity was about 275 percent of the average season.

In their initial forecast for 2008, issued in December, Gray and Klotzbach predicted 13 named storms, including seven hurricanes, three intense. They released their most recent projections while attending a hurricane conference in the Bahamas.

Gray and Klotzbach predict a 69 percent chance the U.S. Coastline, from Maine to Texas, will be struck by at least one major hurricane. They called for a 45 percent chance that a major hurricane will hit the U.S. East Coast, including the Florida Peninsula.

After over-estimating the 2006 and 2007 seasons, Gray and Klotzbach came under criticism from meteorologists, officials and residents, who questioned whether long-range seasonal forecasts have value.

Even some forecasters at the National Hurricane Center in Miami-Dade County say the long-range forecasts could hamper the way residents prepare for the season. As a result, they are calling on their parent agency, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to de-emphasize its seasonal outlook, which is to be released in May.

Gray, who pioneered the science of seasonal predictions 25 years ago, argues that the forecasts serve to satisfy the public's curiosity.

"People want to know," he said last week, during the National Hurricane Conference in Orlando.

In five of the past 10 years, Gray and Klotzbach drafted forecasts in April where they were relatively close to the actual number of named storms, hurricanes and intense hurricanes that formed.

For instance, in 2003, they predicted 12 named storms, including eight hurricanes, with three of those intense. The actual numbers: 14 named storms, seven hurricanes, with three of those intense.

In three of those years, they developed poor predictions that were far off the mark. For instance, in April 2005, they predicted 13 named storms, including seven hurricanes, three intense. That season actually saw 28 storms, 15 hurricanes, seven intense.

Gray said the criticism won't stop his team at Colorado State University from putting out the forecasts.

"We don't worry about it," he said. "We've moved ahead."

'Kay...nuff sobby girl

Chatting with David always cheers me up.
We had lunch yesterday...had a fantastic time.
If it wasn't for David, my sprinklers wouldn't be working right, he showed me how to fix the thingy inside the other thingy with that oil spray stuff..
He's been a good loyal friend.

Just now

Well...its been off and on all day...
Sat sipping my coffee on the patio, slow seeping tears...
Not sobbing, not bawling my eyes out, just a slow trickle..
Went for a walk, came back , sat down to play Mahjong on Pogo and listen to music.
As soon as Staind's Outside came on, it started again.
I guess the shock period is over, and the reaction has set in..
I'm grateful it didn't end in sitting here with tears leaking out of my eyes..
I don't really feel any better, maybe I will when it stops..
This is a pic of the wall where the prints were...
I keep looking at it when I lie in bed. Empty hooks, empty wall, empty heart..
Fitting in a way.
I suppose I'll have to find pics to put there in their place, but forgive the metaphor, what else would fit in that special place where love once rested?
Irreplacable, but they had to go. I couldn't bear to look at them.

Fall Out Boy this morning

While driving Lil one to school, we listen to music.
This morning it was Fall Out Boys "Under the Cork Tree" a real gem of a CD.
I had to rearrange my songs here XO is an immediate segue on the CD and they just belong together.
I ADORE Fall Out Boy..and the show I went to with them was so much fun..
When I drove Lil one and her friends to Ft Lauderdale a few weeks ago, we played Under the Cork Tree, and I sang along loudly with the kids...Her friend V , well he is used to me...LOL and it was ok..and oddly it doesn't embarrass her that I do stuff like that..

Fall Out Boy - Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows)

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But we never stood a chance
And I'm not sure if it matters
If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons
I’m mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town
(your secret's out)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But it must be said again that all us boys are just screaming
Into microphones for attention
Because we're just so bored
We never knew that you would pick it apart, oh
I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts
(your secret's out)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

I used to obsess over living,
Now I only obsess over you
Tell me you'd like boys like me better
In the dark lying on top of you
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters [x4]

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't, don't, don't matter

From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

What happened at work yesterday.

The mans wife stood by his bedside crying, and I walked up behind her, and put my hands on her shoulders from behind.
She kept saying, I keep praying, and he isn't answering me. I keep asking, the bible says ask and you shall receive..
I put my cheek on her shoulder and said, honey I've been in almost the same place as you, praying, but you have to realize, sometimes the answer is simply
She said, I won't accept that, I refuse to accept that. Her voice stayed calm, and she just cried, and shook..
I spoke some more to her, tried to comfort her...but obviously I couldn't.
I felt someone enter the room, and stop. The radiology staff there to begin prepping him for insertion of a Quentin Cath to begin dialysis.
And for some unknown reason, when they looked at me, I choked up..
They silently backed out of the room..and I squeezed her shoulders one more time and left the room.
And had to battle to fight the tears..
I just walked out of the ICU, went downstairs and had a cigarette..
On the trip down alone in the elevator, I had to lean back against the wall, and gripped the railing of the elevator and just closed my eyes and thought....
My troubles are equally painful to me, I feel like I lost a limb this past week.
A vital part of my was that painful.
And thats what losing that man feels like to her.
Neither one of us has any control over the loss, and believe me, her husband is likely dead by today.
I wonder if that feeds the part of me that is so needy, along with my innate neediness.
That sometimes, the job becomes personal, and I just want to come home to the one I love. Come home to a comforting kiss, strong warm arms to hold me..and feel safe.
Thats how he always described such a moment, lying safe in his arms...
I don't remember the last time I felt that....I don't remember the last time I was held, and allowed to be weak.
Sometimes the patient will get to me..but sometimes its a loved one who touches my heart.
Its godawful.

Escape to Chimp Eden

And yet another new addiction. The dedication of Eugene Cussons in trying to save and rehabilitate these chimps is awe inspiring.
This is Eugene and Cozi.

Ghost Hunters

Yet another show I'm addicted to.
My favorite member of TAPS is Steve...he's nice and quirky
He's the one with the tats..Kinda cute

Deadliest Catch

I am addicted to this show, and will gladly watch re-runs.
My favorite Capt. is Phil Harris ( pictured here )of the Cornelia Marie. HE'S HOT! LOL
New eppies start next week..WOOO HOOOOOOOO.

Man in the box

Won't say why I posted this or added it to my songs.
But it fits in with all the rest of my stuff..

Man in the box by Alice in chains
I'm the man in the box
Buried in my shit
Won't you come and save me, save me

Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus Christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now you've sewn them shut

I'm the dog who gets beat
Shove my nose in shit
Won't you come and save me, save me

Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus Christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now you've sewn them shut


I've been riding a real roller coaster this past week...angry one second...resigned the next...pissed
Mostly I'm makes one mad when they are being made a fool of.
I need to get out and garden. I need to weed, and plant a few new things.
Mostly I need to
Coffee is brewing, and I'm going to take a look at the Vanda this morning and see if the buds are opening..
Pics will follow.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


Another email from match
Retired firefighter
I hope I'm not under the influence of drugs , and say someone else name prior to achieving my manly satisfaction!
oh wait, that wasn't me
never mind!!!!

You guys won't believe

But I,,yes I joined recently...very recently.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Me and BFF

Spent a bit of time talking today, trying to figure out why people do the things they do.
And what we decided..was there is no answer.
You can never sit from afar and judge who what where when or why....
Sometimes you just have to accept what IS..

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Saturday, April 05, 2008


And you guys have no clue how hard I am laughing at the irony of lies...

Just found out

Some very interesting information that makes me feel so much better..
I truly thank God for the answer to my prayer.
A relationship that is based on lies, never had a chance to begin with.
And being a trusting person led to every single pain I went thru.
I find it ironic tho, that I was lectured more than once on without it there could be no foundation for a relationship.
The weight has lifted off my shoulders more than a fraction. I was a fool, but an innocent one.
I actually allowed myself to take blame...that I was the bad seed of relationships, that I was not good enough.
Damn, I have my faults, and God knows I've been honest enough about them all along
I'm needy, and emotional...I am right up front about it, always will be. Can't help it.
But a bad person? No..not at all. I DON'T LIE ABOUT ME...never have.
I'm human, I drink too much when I am lonely, I lose my temper...but I always apologize and say it up front. I was wrong, I'm sorry..
Never again.

Lessons learned are like bridges burned
you only need to cross them but once.