Friday, February 29, 2008

Exhausted

And still coughing, but at least its clear.
Tomorrow is my third day.
I'm so tired..hope this abates and soon.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Our average temps


Rhapsodys surprise at my saying 85 was hot for us in February caused me to find this chart to clue the uninitiated in to the weather here.
For those who think it is universally hot and boring, it truly isn't.
The weather here is diverse and ever changing, and while we have had an unusually warm winter, we often see quite cool temps.

Strong cold front moving down

Its currently 62 degrees, very windy and cloudy.
Its supposed to get quite cold here for us, 45 tonite.
This morning I watched Elsa, the osprey, eat a meal on the edge of the lake, while being patiently watched by a buzzard/vulture waiting to get leftovers.
When a second vulture joined the first, Elsa either left in disgust or decided she didn't like being watched while she ate..lol..and flew away.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Power outages, tornado warning and heat..

OH MY,.My power was out for only about half an hr thank god. Its hot here today, currently 85 and while not a record breaker, still too warm to be without a/c
Lil one slept thru the power outage, and the tornado warning.
I'm glad I picked her up early due to her not feeling well.
Lots of schools on soft lockdown and buses not running due to the danger of driving on the roads with no traffic lights.
Wonder what on earth happened?

Walls











Free to all souls the hidden beauty calls,
The sea thrift dwelling on her spray-swept height,
The lofty rose, the low-grown aconite,
The gliding river and the stream that brawls
Down the sharp cliffs with constant breaks and falls --
All these are equal in the equal light --
All waters mirror the one Infinite.

God made a garden, it was men built walls;
But the wide sea from men is wholly freed;
Freely the great waves rise and storm and break,
Nor softlier go for any landlord's need,
Where rhythmic tides flow for no miser's sake
And none hath profit of the brown sea-weed,
But all things give themselves, yet none may take.

Eva Gore-Booth 1820-1926

Finally, a nice cold front headed this way

I had the air cranked this past week, since I was bed bound and feverish. I had no idea how warm it was outside, but it was record breaking with the highest temp of 89 degrees.
Today, a cold front approaches, t storms, then very very cool weather settles in.
YIPPPEEEEEEEE...
It will be down to the forties overnite tomorrow I believe.
A pleasant break for us here.

Shark feeding

A 49 yr old Austrian tourist is dead from shark bite in the territorial waters of the bahamas
He's airlifted here, to Jackson Memorial Hospital but too late.
Shark feeding, IMHO, is reprehensible, foolish and should be totally and completely outlawed.
This link to the SoFla Sun Sentinel from today illustrates why.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flbshark0226sbfeb26,0,5232861.story

Open water feeding of Tigers and Hammerheads is a suicide mission for the brain dead.
I don't blame the shark that killed this man , not one tiny bit.
And as the article also points out, it puts spear fishermen at risk, because hand feeding sharks causes them to lose any caution and fear of humans.

Morning blog faithful

I sleep, yet I am exhausted. My chest still hurts from coughing, but all in all its better.
As for any other aspect of my life, lol, fuggeddaboutit.
I am concentrating on going back to work, still trying to find another job, and paying my bills.
When I feel up to it, the patio needs to be cleaned, so I can sit out there and enjoy. Its looking awfully dusty right now.
I also need to weed.
Once those two projects are done, I have to get the name of someone to trim the palm trees before Hurricane season.
My tomato plant is fruiting like crazy, but I can see the plant itself is looking worn and tired..not much longer for it I guess.
Its too late in the season to plant another, the summer sun is too hot here for tomatoes.
At least I'm in touch with mom via email. My sister doesn't respond to my emails..as my bil didn't either.
Unforgiving and judgemental, thats the two of them.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Me update

Despite periods of exhaustion, like today..lol..I am feeling better.
Anything is better than what I just went thru!
Hopefully I'll be able to take a short walk, or go to the gym for a light workout before I go back to work on thursday.

What is truth and what is a lie?

Sometimes it appears that we have dug ourselves into such a deep place, there is no emergence.
That lie begets lie out of necessity.
Yet the truth shall set you free, that I believe most firmly.
We all have reasons for trying to hide things, whether they are good reasons can often be quite beside the point.
Sometimes it simply takes the courage to say, forgive me. I lied, but I'm not lying now.
You might be quite shocked at the response you get.
Tell the truth folks, cause they always find out in the end anyway.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Orchid is putting out buds

One of the dendrobiums.
I believe it is my faithful yellow one. I'll go out when I have some energy and take some pics of the buds.
And damn do I need to weed. The passion vine has run amok, and since spring is almost here, I need to tame it all down before the warm weather and rains set in.
I have the sprinklers on right now, just to make sure things get watered in the pots, altho since I've been sick at least two plants in the hangers are dead. I never thought of it, Lil one doesn't care for the plants, only I do.
Oh well....I guess when I feel up to it, I'll take a trip to home depot and buy a couple more plants.

You know whats sad?

The only person who has checked up on me, has been my friend David.
He emails me at least once a day or more, asking if my fever has broken, how am I?
Not even BFF has done that. She has this old fashioned europeon idea that the flu is a catchall for every bug that goes by, and when I said I hadn't had the flu since I was sixteen she said...you get this every year!!
And when I get the flu shot, she tells me, now you'll be sick from it.
Odd in a healthcare professional IMHO.
But a very nice warm feeling that at least one person out there cares about me.
He's a good friend, and his family is very very lucky to have him as Dad, hubby and grandpa.
Also a very humbling feeling, that perhaps one could simply slip away, not exist, and it wouldn't create even so much as a ripple in the water.
Certainly Lil one wasn't concerned, fully expecting me to drive her to school and run her around despite my obvious illness.
I finally put my foot down and said can you NOT SEE HOW SICK I AM?
At LEAST it got her to clean up the kitchen ...once..
Sad isn't it?

P.S.

I can't believe I forgot to post the results of the dr visit.
Anyway, he believes this is flu, apparently the strain that is hitting so fla right now is a strain not included in the vaccine.
And he told me I was the sickest person he'd seen yet this season ( during the recent flare up of illness)
He put me on Z pak because he was concerned an underlying bacterial infection had set in due to the duration of the fever.
He also gave me a note for work.
When I left his office, I stopped at publix for the prescription, picked up some soda and cold medicine, had a major coughing fit and almost passed out..
Got home finally, and bless his heart ex had picked me up a loaf of bread, and gave me two cans of his soup from his food shop so I wouldn't starve.
That was sweet..
If he only had a brain, a heart, the noive..
LOL LOL

Lost track

Of how often I had to change my t shirt..eventually I just pulled one off, put it to dry on the side of the tub and pulled another one on..rotating them.
The last five days is a bit of a blur, with sleep, pain and misery all rolled up into a long rollercoaster that I couldn't get off of.
I actually, when sitting in the exam room waiting for the dr..began to cry.
Just frustrated, sick, and so I tried not to, but big ole tears just kept leaking out.
I had stopped by the time the girl came back to move me into Dr P's exam area.
This morning, I am still sweating profusely at times, but for the first time in six days, my temp is below 100 degrees.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Still quite sick

Fever stayed around 103 yesterday, and I had to get up and change my tshirt about three times during the night due to them being soaked thru after the fever briefly broke.
Its a scary feeling to be so sick and be alone.

Friday, February 22, 2008

James and the Giant Peach


Is intricately tied to Lil ones childhood.
She often, and I mean often, had virus's that lead to vomiting for hrs at a time.
Anything including strep throat caused her to throw up.
It became a habit, that when she got sick in the night, I would take her downstairs, all cleaned up and in a warm fresh set of footy pjs, and while the laundry churned and she lay on the couch ( occassionally throwing up )
we'd watch James and the Giant Peach. don't know why.
Anyway, I had bought it for myself for Christmas, and hadn't watched it yet. I put it in the dvd player wed evening, and when it got to the part where he sings the song James...I simply started to cry.
Tears of regret for those long ago years where I thought my future might not be as lonely as my past. Where my lil girl was a sweet loving toddler instead of a 14 year old doppelganger..lol
I just cried thruout the song.
Prolly the not feeling well made it worse eh?

Still sick

I've done nothing really but sleep..stagger around a bit to get some soup and cold drinks..then sleep again.
I have a drs appt to make sure I don't have pneumonia, otherwise I guess I'll just have to ride t his out.
This is day four, and the hardest thing is having absolutely no support about it.
Lil one is a typical 14 yr old, and still expected me to drive her to school. I was too muddled to tell her to take the bus when we discussed it last night
The house is a total wreck, and I can't lift a finger to do anything about it.
And I'm running out of peach citrus fresca and milk. And if I don't have my fresca, I'll dehydrate.
I'm going to ask ex to stop at the store for a few things when he comes over to pick Lil one up
I don't have a choice do I?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Feel absolutely dreadful

Ache all over, chills all day..nightmares and weird dreams..
temp 101.7
I had the flu shot, but I'll be damned if it doesn't feel like I have the flu
Everything aches, including my ribs.
And the headache..omg..
I am sooooo glad I don't have to work tomorrow.
Healing thoughts and prayers welcome.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Lotto

Is 37 million on wednesday.
I'm always playing anyway, I play a dollar a day, twice a week.
But I'm going to buy a few extra plays.
And pray hard.

Comfort food on its way

I am making a crock of my favorite stew.
Lentil, black bean and meatball.
I use college in beef broth, add a bit of Dragon Sauce and a spoonful of minced garlic.
I don't cook much if at all, but its easy and I love it.
And man, is it comfort food
High in fiber too!
LOL

Sunday, February 17, 2008

L's son

Made finals at the Harvard national debate competition...
WOOO HOOOOOOO go D!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Exhausted

Working a four day stretch since thursday...
Tomorrow is my fourth 12 hr shift..and I have been getting my ass KICKED at work.
Too tired to blog..
I'll be back on monday with something..
Busy keeps me from thinking too much..and I'm too tired to think too much when I get home.
Belated Happy Valentines Day to you all dear blog faithful.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Tornadoes last night

sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-213tornado,0,6849518.story

South Florida Sun-Sentinel.com
Tornado watch ends, but possible twister damage in Fort Lauderdale
By Ken Kaye, Sallie James & Macollvie Jean-Francois

Sun-Sentinel.com

10:12 AM EST, February 13, 2008

Strong thunderstorms that rumbled overnight through South Florida may have spawned a small twister that damaged an area of Fort Lauderdale, but no injuries were reported.

The impacted area was between Southwest 31st Avenue and Southwest 34th Avenue bordered by Davie Boulevard north to Southwest 14th Street, said Lois Bowman, Division Chief of Operations for the Fort Lauderdale Fire Department.

"Powerlines were knocked down, some trees were knocked over, overhangs from houses, awnings and chain link fences," Bowman said.

Dr. Christopher Beaupied arrived at his Dr. B's Animal Hospital on Davie Boulevard about 6:45 a.m. and found the kennel's roof had been blown off. One dog that been kept in the kennel for about 10 days had to be removed and bathed elsewhere, but the animal was not injured.

The unexpected damage has caused minor disruptions to clinic operations.

"We won't be able to do any large dog surgeries," Beaupied said. "We can't bathe them, because we don't have no place to put them."

"What can you do? It happens," he said. "I'm glad nothing got hurt, and the dog's okay. We'll see what the insurance people say."

Beaupied said the last time the 20-by-40 inch aluminum roof was damaged, during Hurricane Wilma in 2005, it cost about $25,000 to repair.

Bowman said the winds started picking up sometime after midnight and raged for about two hours. Fire rescue crews went out to do reconnaissance early Wednesday after reports of downed power lines came in, Bowman said. What they found were branches scattered from the powerful storms, some toppled lines and an array of property damage, she said.

"It could have been a lot worse," Bowman said.

The National Weather Service received a report of a tornado spotted near Interstate 595 and 441 shortly after 11 p.m. on Tuesday, and a tornado warning was subsequently issued for the area from 595 north to the Palm Beach County line, said meteorologist Russell Pfost. A wind gust of 43 mph was reported in Deerfield Beach at 3:29 a.m., he said.

An all-night tornado watch ended at 7 a.m. Wednesday.

"We think the worst thunderstorm took a path across the Big Cypress reservation in Collier County. It was a supercell. It looked like it probably produced two to three tornadoes but it was in an area where there are no people," Pfost said. "It was in the extreme southeast agricultural areas of Hendry County and the the extreme western areas of Palm Beach County."

Pfost said the driving rain did help Lake Okeechobee some, raising the water level back to 10 feet.

"It would seem in the short term this will be beneficial to the lake, but it's only going to be a short-term help. But every little bit helps," Pfost said. He said most of Broward County received a little less than one to two inches of rainfall as a result of the late night storms.

Florida Highway Patrol Sgt. Mark Wysocky said troopers early Wednesday were working several crashes across Broward, up some from a normal day, but no life-threatening collisions. He urged motorists to drive with caution because of the wet conditions and driving rain.

"Leave plenty of time, slow down, watch your following distance, wear your seatbelt, and be prepared to stop," Wysocky said.

High winds knocked down powerlines, broke off branches and tore down awnings early Wednesday as powerful storms passed over Broward, leaving scattered debris but no injuries, rescue workers said.

"Thunderstorms are likely across all of South Florida again Wednesday, with the highest chances in advance of a strong front expected to pass across the region this evening," the National Weather Service said.

Gusts as strong as 50-60 mph are possible in the strongest thunderstorms, the weather service said.

Bands of thunderstorms and heavy rain have been moving across South Florida toward the east with winds of 25 mph or more reported, the weather service said. Lightning strikes were reported.

Although this region got roughed up, it was even nastier elsewhere in Florida, which for a day was anything but "the Sunshine State." Virtually the entire state was under a tornado watch for much of Tuesday.

At least three tornadoes touched down near the Central Florida towns of Melbourne, Cocoa Beach and Clermont. Some buildings were damaged but no injuries were reported, authorities said.

In South Florida, expect more rain, strong breezes and possible thunderstorms Wednesday, the National Weather Service said, the result of a cold front. That is the second part of a meteorological double punch, succeeding the warm front that arrived from the Caribbean on Tuesday.

While high temperatures this afternoon were to be in the low 80s, the cold front should drop the mercury into the high 50s by Thursday morning, the weather service said. Thursday's high temperatures were to be in the upper 70s with mostly sunny skies.

In all, the region was expected to see 2 inches of rain through Wednesday, with isolated areas seeing greater amounts, weather service meteorologist Chuck Caracozza said in Miami.

Copyright © 2008, South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Rough night

Lil one brought the NOAA radio into my room, so I could hear warnings and wake her if necessary.
I got very interupted sleep, there were Tornado warnings all damn night..
So long as they weren't right over my head, I went back to sleep.
Very unusual weather for feb..thats all I can say.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Funny pain update

I suddenly realized I can't go to the dr until after march 1st
I signed up for short term disability. If something is wrong, I need that disability if I'm going to keep this house. And they won't cover a preexisting condition.
So I'll have to cool my heels...Lil one needs this house if something happens to me.

Tornado watch

Until 11pm

Strange weather

To begin with, I have dreamt of tornadoes the last two nights.
In the first, I was outside, desperate for shelter. I took refuge in the basement of a house..and as the tornado hit, I huddled against the wall ...woke up.
In the second which was early this morning, I was outside again, and took refuge in my truck. The tornado picked the truck up, and flung it against a tree..it all seemed to happen in slow motion.
Now today, the weather is odd for this time of year. Its supposed to be the dry season, and we've had torrential rain all day.
My NOAA radio is going off now, that severe storms with chance of tornadoes are on the way this evening.
Strange and scary, that I had those dreams without knowing the weather that was coming.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Funny pain

Left upper stomach area, under the ribs ( spleen?)
Also found a tiny lump on the side of my throat yesterday.
Those two things together, I'm going to call the dr in the morning for an appt.
I tried just now, but theres noone there.
I hope theres nothing serious wrong.
I'm kinda scared.

And thank you to whomever

Is contributing the cyber hugs to my hug count.
Cyber hugs are better, way better than none at all.
But thank you, whomever it may be hugging me.
I need every single one of them

For those of you wondering......

Why I would risk myself again emotionally.
I don't think I am, not really.
I'm not ready to open up like that, but I'm telling the truth...I'm so bleeding tired of being alone.
I'm tired of the struggle, the sleeping alone..the watching tv and eating alone, the whole lack of a companionship. I'm tired of having troubles and noone to hold me and tell me it will be ok..and that I am not alone in this big ole scary world.
With ex, the pain wasn't worth the company. If I can find someone I like, care about, who loves me/likes me/ cares about me and needs the companionship too...
I'll settle for it.
I realize that true love, deep passionate soul mate love is not going to happen to me again...I had it, or believed there was a chance I had it with Marc.
So, thats my explanation kind and gentle readers.
I'm so lonely I could cry ( to paraphrase the late great Hank Williams).
I just thank God that I don't get bored on my own. I'm basically a solitary soul when it comes to diversion, so I don't need action and adventure and being entertained.
I do crave physical and emotional affection though, BADLY..
Anyway, thats my story and I'm sticking to it..lol

Somebody to love





It was a sad terrible day when Freddie Mercury died.
Queen was a huge influence on my musical interests early in my life...as a teen and young adult.








Somebody to love, by Freddie Mercury

Can anybody find me somebody to love
Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)
Lord what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?

Yeah
I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life
I work till I ache in my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord somebody (somebody), ooh somebody
(Please) Can anybody find me somebody to love ?

(He works hard)
Everyday (everyday) - I try and I try and I try
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm going crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Ah, got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe in
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Ooh somebody - ooh somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(Can anybody find me someone to love)

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing)
I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright - he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love love love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love somebody somebody somebody somebody
Somebody find me
Somebody find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?


(Find me somebody to love)
Ooh
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me
Ooh - somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Ooh
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!
Wooo somebody find me, find me love.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Music player

Glitching still.
I had to pull the Eagles stuff off...I think I'll wait a day or so and see if I can add music again without the annoying jumps and glitches.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Second rainbow of the afternoon

Rainbow today


After a sudden intense downpour with the sun shining brilliantly over head.
It only lasted a few minutes, but I took pics thru the screen room.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Music player

Lots of glitches seem to be happening. Songs ending prematurely, and stopping for periods of time.
I can only assume its the server, Hotlinks.
I apologize for the annoyance , if its annoying ya'll as much as its annoying me..lol

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Fake it


Seether, the third band playing with Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin.
I like this song..Its hot and angry, like I am right now.








Fake it

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all,
The one you sold to fool the world.
You lost your self esteem along the way.
Yeah.

Good god, You're coming up with reasons.
Good god, You're dragging it out.
Good god, it's the changing of the seasons.
I feel so raped,
so follow me down.

And just fake it, if you're out of direction.
Fake it, if you don't belong here.
Fake it, if you feel like infection.
Woah, You're such a fuckin' hypocrite.

And you should know that the
lies won't hide your flaws.
No sense in hiding all of yours.
You gave up on your dreams along the way.
Yeah.

Good god, You're coming up with reasons.
Good god, You're dragging it out.
Good god, it's the changing of the seasons.
I feel so raped,
so follow me down.

And just fake it, if you're out of direction.
Fake it, if you don't belong here.
Fake it, if you feel like infection.
Woah, You're such a fuckin' hypocrite.

Woah, Woah.

I can fake with the best of anyone.
I can fake with the best of 'em all.
I can fake with the best of anyone.
I can fake it all.

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all,
The one you sold to fool the world.
You lost your self esteem along the way.
Yeah.

Good god, You're coming up with reasons.
Good god, You're dragging it out.
Good god, it's the changing of the seasons.
I feel so raped,
now follow me down.

And just fake it, if you're out of direction.
Fake it, if you don't belong here.
Fake it, if you feel like infection.
Woah, You're such a fuckin' hypocrite.

Fake it, if you're out of direction.
Fake it, if you don't belong here.
Fake it, if you feel like infection.
Woah, You're such a fuckin' hypocrite.

Friday, February 01, 2008

My love is like, a story book story


The Princess Bride
Truly one of the loveliest, funniest and well acted films ever. I watched it tonite, the first time in ages. It is loved by me, and just as enjoyable this time as the first time I saw it.
Rob Reiner is one fine director.
As you wish..
I have a T shirt with a pic on it of Inigo Montoya
It says on the back
"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die"

Pineapple flowers



Look very closely to the sides at the base of the fruit
Very small, soft purple flowers

Exotic ginger

Don't feel like blogging much

Just don't
Muse is silent.