Saturday, June 30, 2007

This breaks my heart


Florida is the most glorious eco system, that we humans have systematically overdeveloped and almost destroyed
The Glades
The Florida Panther
The reefs
The habitats of thousands of life forms found only here


From Wikipedia

The Florida panther is a critically endangered representative of Cougar (Puma concolor) that lives in the low pinelands, palm forests and swamps of southern Florida in the United States. Its current taxonomic status (Puma concolor coryi or Puma concolor couguar) is unresolved.

Males weigh about 150 pounds and live within a range that includes the Big Cypress National Preserve, Everglades National Park, and the Florida Panther National Wildlife Refuge.[3] This population, the only unequivocal Cougar representative in the eastern United States, currently occupies only 5% of its historic range.


The Florida panther has long been considered a unique subspecies of Cougar, under the trinomial Puma concolor coryi (Felis concolor coryi in older listings), one of thirty-two subspecies once recognized. Under these terms, the population was listed as endangered by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service in 1967, [4] and it continues to be one of the most intensively and expensively protected feline populations in the world.

A genetic study of Cougar mitochondrial DNA finds that many of the supposed subspecies are too similar to be recognized as distinct,[5] suggesting a reclassification of the Florida panther and numerous other subspecies into a single North American Cougar (Puma concolor couguar). Following the research, the canonical Mammal Species of the World (3rd edition) ceased to recognize the Florida panther as a unique subspecies, collapsing it and others into the North American Cougar.[2]

Despite these findings it is still listed as subspecies Puma concolor coryi in research works, including those directly concerned with its conservation.[6] Responding to the research that suggested removing its subspecies status, the Florida Panther Recovery Team notes "the degree to which the scientific community has accepted the results of Culver et al. and the proposed change in taxonomy is not resolved at this time."[7]


[edit] Threats
Recovery efforts are currently underway in Florida to conserve the state's remaining population of native panthers. This is a difficult task, as the panther requires large contiguous areas of habitat — each breeding unit, consisting of one male and two to five females, requires about 200 square miles of habitat.[8] A population of 240 panthers would require 8,000 to 12,000 square miles of habitat with sufficient diversity due to inbreeding as a result of small population size. The introduction of eight female Cougars from a closely related Texas population has apparently been successful in mitigating inbreeding problems.[9]

Southern Florida is a fast-developing area, and declining habitat threatens this species. The two highest causes of mortality for the Florida panthers are automobile injuries and aggression between panthers for territory. The primary threats to the population as a whole include habitat loss, habitat degradation, and habitat fragmentation. The development at Ave Maria near Naples, is controversial for its location in prime panther habitat.[10]


[edit] Controversy
The Florida panther has been at the center of a controversy over the science used to manage the species. There has been strong disagreement between scientists about the location and nature of critical habitat. This in turn is linked to a dispute over management which involves property developers and environmental organisations.[11] Recovery agencies appointed a panel of four experts, the Florida Panther Scientific Review Team (SRT), to evaluate the soundness of the body of work used to guide panther recovery. The SRT identified serious problems in panther literature, including miscitations and misrepresentation of data to support unsound conclusions.[12][13][14] A Data Quality Act (DQA) complaint brought by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER) and Andrew Eller, a biologist with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS), was successful in demonstrating that agencies continued to use incorrect data after it had been clearly identified as such.[15] As a result of the DQA ruling, USFWS admitted errors in the science the agency was using and subsequently reinstated Eller, who had been fired by USFWS after filing the DQA complaint. In two white papers, environmental groups contended that habitat development was permitted that should not have been, and documented the link between incorrect data and financial conflicts of interest.[16][17] In January 2006, USFWS released a new Draft Florida Panther Recovery Plan for public review.[18]

From Todays Sun Sentinel
Panther road deaths hit new high in Florida


Associated Press

June 30, 2007, 11:01 AM EDT

TALLAHASSEE -- The recent deaths of three Florida panthers on state roads brought this year's total to 14, exceeding the previous record of 11, wildlife officials said.

The three panther deaths, which took place last week, involved collisions with vehicles, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said Friday. A total of 11 panthers were killed by vehicles in 2006.

In recent years, panthers have rebounded from the brink of extinction, from roughly 30 to about 100 on the southwestern edge of the Everglades.

The commission said 139 panther deaths have been documented since 1997 -- 63 of which were previously live-captured and equipped with radio collars for ongoing research.

Wildlife officials have been working with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the Florida Department of Transportation, Collier and Lee county transportation departments and developers to protect panthers along highways segments by incorporating wildlife crossings, fencing and additional speed zones, the commission said.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Papa Roach



A recent new fave of mine, meaning I only recently discovered them, and adore the lead singers voice..once I started downloading, I realized that I knew and liked several of their songs, just didn't know it was Papa Roach
Lyrics are well written IMHO..Jacoby Shaddix lead singer

"Forever"
In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can't get over you. can't get through to you
It's been a helter-skelter romance from the start
Take these memories that are Haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds by his own pair of scissors
He'll never forgive her...he'll never forgive her...

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire on a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl... little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of a life
You're my heroine-in this moment I'm lonely fulfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs all these women
I'm never forgiven... this broken heart of mine

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever,
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss,
before I go
Dry your tears,
it is time to let you go

One last kiss (one last kiss)
Before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears)
It is Time to let you go

Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss (one last kiss)
Before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears)
It is time to let you go

One last kiss,
Before I go,
Dry your tears,
it is time to let you go,
One last kiss

This is the Smallest pineapple so far



From Chiquitas pup

Max Headroom in use again


For the pineapple to root
I'm thinking that since marcia had her fruit taken, and there were no "pups" on that plant, she will die..so I will need a new plant to take her place.
This is the crown from Belles fruit

Monday, June 25, 2007

Thank God for Paxil Cr


Clinical depression may include some of the following..





You feel miserable and sad.
You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
You feel very anxious sometimes.

You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.

You find it difficult to think clearly.

You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.

You feel a burden to others.

You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.

You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
You feel irritable or angry more than usual.

You feel you have no confidence.

You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
You feel that life is unfair.

You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.

You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'

You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.

I'm thinking Iguana



What do you guys think?
Found this pineapple totally gnawed this morning..
I'd be pissed if it was the first ripe one, as it is..I'm swimming in pineapple..lol

Alarm company service call


Battery died..so he replaced it for me, and showed me how to change the passcode.
Figured it was long past time for a new one anyway.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Dating myself...


But growing up in NY gave me a real exposure to Punk as it evolved, and the roll into other genres.
I adored this womans voice, and adored the fact that she was a talented BBW (big beautiful woman) fronting a band.
Romeo Void
As Pearl would say..They were Totally Coral..


Artist: Romeo Void
Song: Never Say Never

If time itself was his demeanor
There’d be no sunlight or a glimmer
Of sunlight landin on the street
Sunsuit girls must be discreet
Sunsuit girls must be discreet
Nursing their fathers locked inside
They masqueraded as his bride

I might like you better
If we slept together
But there’s somethin
In your eyes that says
Maybe that’s never
Never say never

The slump by the courthouse
With windburn skin
That man could give a f**k
About the grin on your face
As you walk by, randy as a goat
He's sleepin on papers
When he'd be warm in your coat

I might like you better
If we slept together
But there’s somethin
In your eyes that says
Maybe that’s never
Never say never

There’s no easy way to lose your sight
On the street, on the stairs
Who's on your flight
Old couple walks by, as ugly as sin
But he’s got her and she’s got him

Never say never

Stop all the clocks

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden, “Stop all the clocks”

Rhapsody reminded me of....





Carly Simon - The Right Thing To Do













There's nothin' you can do to turn me away
Nothin' anyone can say
You're with me now and as long as you stay
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Lovin' you's the right thing

I know you've had some bad luck with ladies before
They drove you or you drove them crazy
But more important is I know you're the one and I'm sure
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Lovin' you's the right thing

And it used to be for a while
That the river flowed right to my door
Making me just a little too free
But now the river doesn't seem to stop here anymore

Hold me in your hands like a bunch of flowers
Set me movin' to your sweetest song
And I know what I think I've known all along
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Lovin' you's the right thing
Lovin' you's the right thing to do
Is the right thing

Nothing you could ever do would turn me away from you
I love you now and I love you now
Even though you're ten thousand miles away
I'll love you tomorrow as I love you today
I'm in love babe
I'm in love with you babe.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Thought of this song today...


For James Jr..When I think my life is bad, thats when I hear of a tragedy that makes my sorrows pale in comparison..






Sweet Baby James

There is a young cowboy he lives on the range
His horse and his cattle are his only companions
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons
Waiting for summer, his pastures to change

And as the moon rises he sits by his fire
Thinking about women and glasses of beer
And closing his eyes as the doggies retire
He sings out a song which is soft but its clear
As if maybe someone could hear


Goodnight you moonlight ladies
Rockabye sweet baby james
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Wont you let me go down in my dreams
And rockabye sweet baby james

Now the first of december was covered with snow
And so was the turnpike from stockbridge to boston
Lord, the berkshires seemed dream-like on account of that frosting
With ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go

Theres a song that they sing when they take to the highway
A song that they sing when they take to the sea
A song that they sing of their home in the sky
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep
But singing works just fine for me

Goodnight you moonlight ladies
Rockabye sweet baby james
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Wont you let me go down in my dreams
And rockabye sweet baby james

Passionvine




Its invasive but lovely..and getting ready to take over my fence..Tomorrow is the day of weeding..poured today..

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Flintstones


Was a favorite show of mine as a kid..
I had this song stuck in my head all afternoon, and found this link.
Enjoy folks..

Happy Anniversary
LOL
http://s17.quicksharing.com/v/737312/Happy_Anniversary.mp3

Sense of reorganization...






Has begun to possess me. I went out to the store, and just before leaving I wandered the property, and wondered where my passion for the earth and my connection to the plants had wandered to. My beds are wild, overrun with weeds and commotion. While some of that is lovely, too much just speaks of disorder and discord.
I am going to weed tomorrow, and try to reorganize my mind.
Perhaps the Green man is calling to me again..




Come by the hills to the land
where fancy is free
And stand where the peaks meet the sky
and the rocks reach the sea
Where the rivers run clear and the bracken
is gold in the sun
And cares of tomorrow must wait
till this day is done.

Come by the hills to the land
where life is a song
And sing while the birds fill the air
with their joy all day long
Where the trees sway in time, and even
the wind sings in tune
And cares of tomorrow must wait
till this day is done.
Trad. Irish Song

Monday, June 18, 2007

Rainbow

There was the most incredible rainbow tonite in the middle of a thunderstorm..the fattest tail on a 'bow I've ever seen
I wish I had another digital cam to keep with me at all times. I would have loved to snap a pic of this one
I saw it on my drive home from work.


The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible
and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening.
It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of
the rainbow which I have clutched.
Henry David Thoreau, Writings, vol. 2, p 239

Morning from the Tropics


The horizon is a soft pink this a.m. and if I had time I'd go out and take some pics. But I have to head out to work in five mins, so no time.
However, I've been seeing pink skys for several mornings, and hope to be able to take some pics on wed a.m. when I'm off from work.
If I can drag my sorry butt out of bed that is!!
Rainy season appears to be here full force now. Our forecast for the foreseable future is chance of thunderstorms daily..with lovely rain.
The lake is full to the brim and I haven't needed to use the sprinklers on any of my allotted sundays for two weeks now..
Have a good day blog faithful
I see a few repeaters on my neocounter.
Welcome back to them, and welcome to those new to my ramblings.

The Wiccan Rede, Lady Gwen Thompson, The Green Egg, 1948


Mind the three-fold laws you should three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.
Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.
These eight words the rede fultill:
An ye harm none, do what ye will

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Dark and stormy day...


It rumbles with thunder, severe weather warnings, and feels like night.



Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
J.R.R. Tolkien

Plato

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Plato

Reason

Reason, the prized reality, the Law, is apprehended, now and then,

for a serene and profound moment, amidst the hubbub of cares and

Works which have no direct bearing on it;

Miss then lost, for months or years, and again found,

for an interval, to be lost again.

If we compute it in time, we may, in fifty years,

have half a dozen reasonable hours.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fall out boy show last night


Was fantastic.
Other than the incredible heat and humidity...it was worth the wait to see them
The kids had a great time
I enjoyed my 8$ beers
Long evening..show started at 6pm and ended at almost 11pm
Five bands..
This is Pete Wentz, the guy the girls ( and boys ) swoon over..
he's kinda little, but awfully cute .
Back under my rock now with Patrick Star..

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Fall out boy today

With showers and thunderstorms.

Peace and rest at length have come
all the day's long toil is past,
and each heart is whispering, "home,
home at last."
Thomas Hood, Home at last.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Today...

I will not ask from you
anything that you were not capable of giving
I would not ask from you
anything but that which I truly need
and I would not take from you
without giving equal value in return

Javan, Footprints in the Mind

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Hibiscus, coleus..today




The view of the coleus also allows you to see the Encyclia Orchid blooming above it, hanging from the oak.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Lil one and I

Had lunch together..and a talk.
I truthfully can't talk about some things with anyone BUT her.
Poor kid..LOL..

The orchid blooms

Monday, June 11, 2007

Beautiful



And....

Hell isn’t merely paved with good intentions;
Its walled and roofed with them.
Yes, and furnished too.
Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have a Stop, chapter 12

Walk and thought

Walked for about four miles and just thought.
karma..its all about karma
I am fulfilling mine, and perhaps after so many years its time to stop fighting it.
Perfect emotional cleansing weather, sunny and still with temp hovering at around 90 degrees.

Altho my muse has deserted me..


I had to post this pic of Belle's fruit, which I picked two days ago.
here it is next to Chiquitas.
Lumpy, someone odd looking, sort of like myself.
However I'm sure it will taste just as wondeful and sweet as can be.
Belles fruit is larger than Chiquitas. I will share them with my sister and my BFF Laura

Saturday, June 09, 2007

My man

Battles his demons.
There isn't a blessed thing I can do to help..
I send my love, my prayers..and hope he is victorious.
Otherwise..

"There is for me no wonder more
Than to wonder where my wonder went
And why my wonder all is spent"

Friday, June 08, 2007

My crystal

Won't hold heat...I don't know whats wrong ..

Sigh

I'm tired of coughing
tired of being broke and in debt
tired of being alone
tired of so many things.
Working hard at hardening my shell....
Mostly tired of having no choice, no say, no control
Blogging just for the sake of doing it, because I want to be positive and move ahead is a waste of space IMHO..
Right this second, I feel like I've been doing nothing but babbling..
So I'm taking another lil break
Maybe a day, maybe forever.
We'll see. Right now, I'm just overwhelmingingly tired.
If you are one of my blog faithful, sorry.
But the view into my mind is closed for major repairs.

New food economys


Ok...not included here are the roasty publix chicken, which will be two meals..
or the hot wings..or the canned meats and fish for salad
The Nathans were on sale..so I got four packages, froze three. They will go with the cheese on a spinach wrap with ketchup..YES KETCHUP. Cheap and filling.
However, I'd better start taking vitamins again...don't want to end up with scurvy or any such thing..
The eggs are way easier than trying to boil them myself..cause I suck at that no matter how hard I try.
They are bkfst..
And I also have Salad greens which were on sale as well.
I got frozen pizza for Lil one, I'm sure she'd rather have the saved money for fun stuff.
So we will not starve..lol..this week.

Finances..

Are so bad, that I am going to have to sit down and figure it to the penny.
I've not done that up till now..shame on me.
But since school is out, and Lil one wants to be out and about with friends, I need to figure out every blessed penny so the extra goes to her for movies etc.
She again parroted her Dad, he has less money than we do..blah blah blah..
I just laughed and said Kiddo...enough.
He makes alot more than me, and has few expenses other than rent and child support.
The nerve of him.
She hit him up for spending money in front of me yesterday...I couldn't help it...I burst out laughing and said "thats my girl"

My first published photo

WOW!!
ok..ok...so its on Weatherbug and you just submit a photo...lol
But It was a pic of mine and there I was..one of my photos online
Wow..
A bright spot in an otherwise unbright day/week ..very cool

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Two orchids ready to bloom



One just bloomed last month, and now has two new flower shoots coming off it..the Dendrobium
The other one, is quite exciting. My baby, bought at Home Depot about two or three years ago.
It came in a bag, was not potted or anything, and was one of two..experiments.
And now it is about to bloom
An Encyclia
I am so excited..it truly was an experiment. I know it can take years for an orchid to mature enough to bloom..so the fact that this one is about to bloom is very very good.
Here are pics of both with flower buds emerging

Sun and dark clouds...



Sunset over the lake, with storm clouds in the distance
Gus from next door...his Mango tree full of fruit

Update

Well as it turned out, Lil one was still with me.
Dh got here early...AGAIN..
Sheesh, when we were together he kept me waiting every blessed time we left the house. Used to drive me up a wall..
Now he is early...EVERY TIME
Anyway, he brought us some oriental soups.
He came up to me and said, I thought you'd like this one..I said thanks...
When he left, I looked at it. Shitaki Mushroom soup with noodles? HE KNOWS I DON'T EAT ANY FORM OF COOKED FUNGUS...
wtf was up with that?
Anyway, dropped kids off at Sawgrass Mills..and came home. Bad thunderstorms, and now I'm home alone again..
Tired, very tired

DH coming over in a bit

To get his rowing machine.
I hate seeing him, but if he gets that damn thing out of my house I'm a happy camper.
One bad thing, will be here alone..thats worse than seeing him..seeing him alone..
Maybe I will just leave the damn thing outside and lock the doors.

Nothing else matters


And since I am so blog happy today..( just sitting and reading and blogging till its time to get the kids) I thought I would add this last entry..for now anyway.
When even your coffee doesn't make you mmm mmmm happy, its not a good place to be..
This likely relates to the chronic sinus troubles I am having.
Listening to music that is affecting me strongly today...picking and choosing my artists and lyrics without hesitation..
Metallica..a powerful song, it talks to me about not just trust and love..but of recognizing that we can often pick and choose what is important in our lives, but sometimes, those choices are simply already made for you. They are part of you, what makes you the person you are.
Brings to mind my post about hope..some things matter more than anything else.
I am not much of a metal head...I lately have a strong preference for Alt-metal..but I am nothing if not eclectic.

Nothing else matters

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

And I am so sick of not feeling well.

Coughing alot today, and I feel a little short of breath..I need to go to the gym and loosen everything up.
I am car pool mom this week, so after I pick up Lil one , Nick and my niece from marching band camp, I will go to the gym..
I scheduled my f/u with the ENT for wed the 13th. I don't know what he can do for me..but I will keep the appt along with the disc of my CT scan.

Other pineapples updated





ok..the single ripened fruit is Belle
The group shot from left to right is , Belle, Marcia and Jan..lol..
wonder where I got those names from huh?
It is ...I can only describe it as sultry today..hot sunny and humid with a stirring breeze that doesn't really refresh...just moves the damp air around..
LOVE FLORIDA WEATHER...

Slide....


Johnny Rzeznik



Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I'll give you anything
To feel it comin'

Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are
You live with all your faults

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide

Yeah we're gonna let it, slide

Don't you love the life you killed
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you

Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't change
I'll live around it

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you wanna get married
Or run away

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
May do you wanna get married
Or run away

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall

Yeah we're gonna let it, slide

I'm still here...........

Johnny Rzeznik

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway…
You don't know me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man..
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
'Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can they say I never change
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
‘Cause I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Revelation..and assurance


I had a rather long talk with my sister last night on the phone...
Upshoot...karma
Her daughter she says...is ME..and my daughter is her.
Flash back to childhood..
My sister was always popular..in with the in crowd..a gang of friends.
I was shy, with a few close tight friends.
Its completely reversed with our girls...who knows why.
When lil one was in the womb...and as an infant..I distinctly remember holding her tight..looking at her..breast feeding her..and saying silently..and out loud
You will never wonder if I love you. You will never wonder if you are second best.
You will never EVER wonder.
I made a conscious decision...to not have more than one child. I would not ever let my girl wonder if I loved her sibling better..NEVER
I also prayed...Lord, please let her pretty and popular...let her have everything I never had..brains..plus popularity and friends.
And she does
And I thank the good Lord every single day.
But for my sister to verbalize it..and recognize it...OWN IT..
I was speechless..
I just said...umm....yeah..they are.
This is one of my favorite pics of my girl. I am the photographer of 99% or more of the pics on this blog..
This...this is a personal favorite. I think it captures her perfectly..at a young age
Father Dennis when he was dying..said to me...she is the most cherubic looking child I've ever seen.
I think he was soooooo right.
Funny side note. I've had more than one person say, that as babies..she and I are identical..
Who knew..?

Tropical downpours today...all day


Lightning and heavy steady rain, but so heavy that the patio flooded.
I went out and cleared the drain, but I guess the ground just couldn't hold the rain it came down so heavy.
Thats ok..I can just sweep the dirt out once it dries..
Finally getting some regular rain.
This is the worse drought in 100 yrs for Florida
My WeatherBug says we had 2.31 inches so far today
Update from rain...the lake is the fullest I've seen it in months...its wonderful to see the water right up to the bank.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Just freshly harvested



Chiquitas fruit.
I put it next to the coffee pot for persepective..
ITS HUGE..and smells heavenly

Monday, June 04, 2007

This has more truth now than it did when first I wrote it

I wrote and posted this last Oct..as the last strands of my marriage were severed and broken..
It has a completely different meaning for me now..
Imagine trying to gain comfort from your 14 yr old, who simply doesn't understand the machinations of the adult mind?
She comforted me as best she could by saying..hey look mom..victor and I are friends again and I never thought that would happen..
ROFLMAO..ahhhh youth..would that life were so easy.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006
What is hope?
Websters says this: Hope is to desire with expectation of obtainment
What is fear? Websters says this: Fear is to be afraid or apprehensive
What is faith? Websters says this: Faith is firm belief in something for which there is no proof
And lastly, what is Love?
Websters says this: Love is strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
After interminable thought and angst experienced over the last few days, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot live without Hope. I had thought to extinguish Hope so to save myself more heartache, but find I cannot.
I need to have Faith in the Love that I feel.
If one loses Hope..One loses everything. Hope is the basis for human existence, and if I don't allow myself to feel Hope, regardless of how foolish or futile it may seem, I may as well depart this mortal coil.
So I Hope for my true love to have Faith in me, and Fear not. I have to Hope...I have nothing else left.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.-
Alexander Pope,An Essay on Man,
Epistle I, 1733

Lies and betrayal

I discovered several today.
And yet somehow, I'm not the least bit surprised by either.
Keep the faith, I'll find something to post on later..
I refuse to let these discoverys trip me up any further in my goal.

"oh what a tangled web we weave
when first we practice to deceive"

Sir Walter Scott had the right of it..

Friday, June 01, 2007

Ok..obviously the weather experts were not wrong


The first day isn't even over, and we have a tropical storm
Barry
Six months to go..
Fortunately it is bringing some much needed rain to our area..and hopefully northern Florida and George
So far today we've had about .5 inches of rain here.

First day of Hurricane season 2007

I pray all the experts are wrong.