Monday, March 26, 2007

I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!


I used the weed whacker today...AND WHACKED...
If I can conquer that...I can do anything...

I created a memory to carry with me.

Familiar with Italian charms?
There are hundreds, that you can pick and choose to represent anything you want.
I built one, a bracelet with things that are currently near and dear to me.
I wanted something visceral, physical to see...touch..look at.
Something to HAVE..
..
It has our names, our pasts and US..something to represent each of us. A dragon, a butterfly, a computer, a pineapple...lol
US..
So when I look at it...I don't feel so alone..or hopeless.
Remember, there IS love in the world
The yin and yang symbol..a Marine Corp symbol..and two hearts between our names.
Each link represents something to me..and will always.
I got it today, put it together and put it on..
I LOVE it..

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Adjusting to accepting myself as good


This is an incredibly difficult concept for me.
Lets just leave it at that..

Saturday, March 24, 2007

have to apologize

had a very very rough day...yesterday
and a major pity party
i'm better today..
sorry if i upset anyone

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Another ditty


LOL...He dared me...so here it is..


Sounds like a raunchy sea ditty...here it goes...

Here is a story of two ladies that no one ever sang
Of Gina Lottaboobs and Polly Ester Poontang
Two pavement princess's who gave not a flip
and walked half naked on the sunset strip
They would with any tom dick or harry go
And for 40 bucks would show, throw, or blow
But one night their pimps with each other got in a fight
and both ladies decided they did did see the Light
They ran off to Nevada and took a chance
and on interstate 80 opened a guest ranch
No more sex or dangerous wanking
the men come there to get a spanking

Ok...I am so obsessive...


I am currently immersed in all that is Fallout Boy...lol..my mom even likes them and good god she is in her 80's
http://www.mtv.com/music/artist/fall_out_boy/artist.jhtml
Check out their live and prerecorded videos...I advice you watch the ones with the songs I've recommended.
Live Dance Dance and the regular video are both great.
Wonder where I got my everlasting coolness from??? From the Vera of course..
I love this song too..the lyrics are of unrequited love..
Lil Ones buddy was amazed that Danny Elfman used to be punk...I knew of course..
music..music..and books...endless useless knowledge have I..

Dance Dance



She says she's no good with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out
"A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"
Vs. "no one should ever feel like.."

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

[Whispered:] We're going into D-Minor

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

You always fold just before you're found out
Drink up its last call
Last resort
But only the first mistake and I...

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress, love

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead

Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance

Cough cough...sniff sniff...hack hawk...phfftttewww


OK..OK...I GAVE UP...
Sheesh.
In ny I was sick all the time..from November till April.
This is the first time since I moved to Paradise that I've needed an antibiotic. I took my first pill this afternoon. I've used Levaquin before, I'll feel better soon.
Damn, I was so happy to be antibiotic free for so many years..
I think the last ten years in Ny I was an antibiotic queen..
The humidity here is wonderful for my sinuses..
Sigh..

Pineapple central update




Well the fruits are growing like crazy..its amazing how fast they are maturing..
And there are so many pups growing off the mama plants that I will be able to give one to Laura and Chuck as a housewarming gift.
Now that they are back home post Wilma..I am the only one who hasn't seen the new house. And when I say new, the whole house was gutted and rebuilt.
Here are the pineapples with my rose blooming in the background

Friday, March 16, 2007

Rule number one......


When you are sick...DO NOT have a high fiber low carb spinach wrap with two super size sabretts ( and spicy guldens and cheese yet).
Tasty, yes, all beef , yes, repeat on you endlessly when you are not feeling good..
ENDLESSLY QUEASY...
When I lived in NY I loved going to the local kosher deli Hebrew National no less was used at the Cresthill Deli
mmm...I loved those hot dogs...with the skin..how they snapped when you bit into them and the juice all ran out..mmmmmm

Anyone remember this song?????





One hit wonder, but I surely do like this song by Semisonic



Closing Time
Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Downloaded this song from Limewire


He's been around forever...but damn is he good at what he does. Weird...hell yeah..but he is Weird Al

The song mocked, is My Sharona by The Knack


Nine Coronas by Weird Al Yankovich
The girl looks good to me, good to me,
She looked like Pamela Lee
After nine coronas

I began to kiss her,
Undid her zipper,
She looked like Claudia Schiffer
After nine coronas

When I met her at the bar,
She said she was on Baywatch,
When she got into my car,
She looked a lot like Sasquatch

BOW WOW WOW WOW WOW
Waaaaahhhhh

Nine coronas

She kinda looked like Mr. Spock,
live long and prosper
But she was Courtney Cox,
After nine coronas

We were hot with passion,
We were mashing,
Cause she looked like Jennifer Aniston
After nine coronas

Late into the night,
I rode her like a Harley
In the soft candle light,
She looked like Chris Farley

BOW WOW WOW WOW WOW
Waaaahhhhh

Nine coronas

She was fat and stinky,
And kinda sticky,
But she looked like Christie Brinkley
After nine coronas

She looked like Pee Wee Herman,
thats my name, don’t wear it out,
But she was Uma Thurman
After nine coronas

In our 23rd position,
I think I got a whiplash,
She was really bitchin’,
Except for her moustache

BOW WOW WOW WOW WOW
Waaaahhhhh

She was bigger than a Winnabago,
A way to go,
She looked like Lisa Kudrow
After nine coronas

She was no Cindy Crawford,
Cindy Craford,
Nothing rhymes with Cindy Crawford
After nine coronas

Open up another bottle,
I started drinking more beer,
So I could wake up,
Next to Heather Locklear

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Yaaaaaaaaah

Nine corona’s
(repeat till fade)

Plantings several days later





Originally planted on March 7th
See them here, before and after.
Things grow incredibly fast in paradise

IMHO Muscovy ducks are butt ugly...


However, their chicks are absolutely adorable..
The largest surviving group I saw..started at eleven and ended up with nine that grew to young adulthood
They stayed together for a very long time, I would see all nine on my lawn..
Eventually they split up to form their own families..

Monday, March 12, 2007

Got tickets this morning
















FOR FALLOUT BOY...WOOO HOOOOOOOOO...
Ahem...
Not childishly excited at all...
April 21st at the Sound Advice Amphitheater in West Palm Beach.

Grand theft Autumn ( where is your boy )


Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget
that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.

You need him. I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

Someday I'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you...but for the meantime I'll sport my
brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at 4:00 in the afternoon.

You need him. I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.

1-2-3-4!

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

(won't find out) he won't find out
(won't find out) he won't find out

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. (he won't find out)
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

Mating season has begun for ....


The Boat tailed Grackles
They always nest around my house and neighborhood..and I am sure I look like a madwoman when I walk..they DIVE BOMB IF YOU COME WITHIN anywhere close to their nests.
Dh didn't believe me...I said FINE...watch as I go out into the driveway..and BAMM..I was under attack..LOL..
I love their raucous talk..nonstop singing, talking...LIFE...That sound is Florida to me..grackles ( along with the monk parakeets)
The males are gorgeous..large and pitch black..and they ruffle their neck and head feathers out in courtship..
The females have a yellow cast to their bodies and are much smaller.
But they so fiercely defend their young...whats not to love?

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I have me a good man

I cooked...oh yes...I did


And it was good...so sayeth Me..lol
I did NOT burn the house down, nor did I need to call for reinforcements. I did have to move the rack once since I was broiling and initially it wasn't close enough..
And I forgot to season.
Other than that...it was all good.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Fall out boy


They have the best song titles ..lol..and I am actually quite fond of Patrick Stumps voice ( hes the chubby redhead with the hat...I thought it was the black haired hottie at first who was the lead singer...lol )
Lil one adores them, along with Panic at the Disco ( she saw them in concert) I wanted to see Fall out boy but they were in West Palm and I didn't want the drive..
Check them out, no profanity and catchy rhythms and lyrics
And they are sooooo cute!

one of my favorite songs is on From Under the cork Tree

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" Lyrics



I confess, I{'m just} messed up
dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around
And I know you dressed up
{said} "hey kid you'll never live this down"

'Cause you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

Write me off, give up on me
Cause darling, what did you expect
I'm just off a lost cause
a long shot, don't even take this bet

You can make all the moves, you can aim all the spotlights
Get all the sighs and the moans just right

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

(always on, always on)
You said you'd keep me honest
(always on, always on)
But I won't call you on it
(always on, always on)

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

Relearning self value



Not easy..nor is it a quick painless process. When you have learned certain responses earn acceptance and forgiveness..you tend to fall into the groove of that response.
I am trying very hard to NOT do that..I guess I wasn't really trying to adjust that aspect of my personality, but I have to.
I'm doing it for me most importantly, because damn it I am NOT worthless..
I am also doing it for my daughter, and for my man..
I don't want my daughter to change what she is..a strong spirited female who has no doubt about her own self worth..but she saw what I went thru, and what I was subject to.
Here is transformation again..this is me..
Mariposa..this is me too..
Odd..this move to florida was meant to be in so many ways I am just realizing now. There was no way I could have managed the house in NY by myself..not thru winter and all the burdens that wonderful old house held..
This house, yeah, I can handle it.
Once I master the weed whacker there is NOTHING I can't do..absolutely nothing.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Flowers and critters



Gold mound Lantana..will attract butterflies...

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Listening to Disturbed at 1500 hrs..


Fantastic alt metal band with pounding rhythms and painful lyrics...very angry..Like I was when I was still boiling and bubbling and emotionally writhing; trying to get DH to leave..this song would come on the radio, and I would think omg.... JUST LISTEN ASS****!!!!!!! ...This is YOU..
Song says it all, it was a never ending round of my apologies, often didn't even know what I was apologizing for, but it was me just begging, please just stop, please love me, please let me be good enough..PLEASE..
One day, the pleading stopped,,,and I didn't care any more. But I was dammed if I was going to continue living with it ( the stated and implied criticism and fault finding ) when I didn't care any more, when I didn't love him any more. When the love I had felt was crushed, squeezed dry and empty.
Listen to the song if you have the ability to get it. This is off Ten thousand Fists, their most recent release. Its more powerful when listened to


"Just Stop"
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life
Step back a moment, and look at the miracle starting in our life
Don't stop the moment, and let the incredible happen knowing that

All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
To be the best in the world

Just stop with all of your little deliberate problems with my life
Enough of all the crippling, terrible pain we feel inside
Step back a moment, remember how the miracle started in our life
Take back the torment; I won't be enjoying this moment knowing that

All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we've done
We can hide
We'll be the best in the world

All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in
All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion
From the moment that we found ourselves drowning in

All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
I know that
All that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we've done
We can hide
We'll be the best in the world
We'll be the best in the world
Just stop enough of the limitless critical comments on my life
Just drop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life

Gardening and new plantings today



Well I didn't feel like cleaning, so I went to Home Depot and bought two new hanging plants for the patio. One is a large spider the other looks just like a wandering jew..only instead of purple it is white and green.I pulled out an old red fountain grass, so I got two new red fountain grass, one gold mound lantana, one white lantana, one scarlet penta, and yellow milkweeds.
Its actually the first time they have had another color besides scarlet..so I was glad to get it.
I planted, watered and then put the sprinklers on. No coleus this time, I need to get some for the bed in the back, but I also need to get out back and weed on friday. Maybe Lowes will have some. I will have to go there and check. In the meantime, I have added several new butterfly plants in the penta and the lantas and milkweeds.
I'm happy..
Now this is the milkweed and one fountain grass. They don't look like much now..but just wait a few weeks.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Watching one of my favorite movies


On the big screen. Here is the view from my recliner..I was watching White Chicks with the Wayans Bros.

Back


I'm just back..end of story...kay?
Here is Nutkin, my cute lil squirrel guy who sits on a flower hanger in the screen room and observes his kingdom..and steals dog food..

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Friday, March 02, 2007

My first ripe tomato..I am going to pick it just before I need it for dinner



Isn't it beeyoootiful?
We are having some warm weather today, its currently 85 degrees
And we had a tornado here the other day, spring weather early, with storms and warmth.
I hope this isn't fortelling what the tropical season will be like